By now, unless you’re living under a rock or incommunicado up on a space Ark, you’ve seen the season 5 trailer for The 100. And you can bet I have some impressions. So strap in, space cowboy.

I have a love/hate relationship with trailers because while it’s great to see new footage, the potential for spoiling something due to the Zapruder-like analysis we use to dissect every little frame really makes me hesitate to go in too deep. Over on Reddit, we picked apart the season 3 trailer until we kinda figured a lot of plot points out that took a bit of wind out of my sails. I guess I’m one of those people who like things to surprise me.

I’m not going to watch this trailer more than five times, which I know probably makes me a Bad Fan^TM, but I still want a sense of fresh wonder when I watch season 5 and not over-analyze a piece of media which I THINK is intentionally misleading in parts to begin with. Oh, there are some definite “I don’t think this shot really immediately follows the previous one, they just want us to THINK that it does.” We see you, JRoth and company.

Not falling for your shenanigans. Trying to play with our emotions and shit.

First Off, Can We Talk About How Gorge it All Looks?

Let me start out by saying the very first thing that popped into my mind…before the characters, the fighting, the conflict, the angst…I thought “goddamn, there are some really gorgeous shots in this trailer, they’ve really upped their cinematography game.”

I mean, look at this shit:

LOOK AT IT.

I think the shot of the rover and Clarke on the cliff overlooking the forest is my favorite. That’s the one that got me to lean forward and say “oh hold up, they ain’t playin’, look at this!” But check out that desert sandstorm. Those space pods. That unique angle overlooking Clarke and the wreckage of Polis (correction: the wreckage is Arkadia). There’s a real eye for scope here that I’ve never felt before save for perhaps Jaha and Murphy crossing the Dead Zone in season 2. Many of these shots are serving up all kinds barren earth realness. I can FEEL the sense of loneliness that must eat at Clarke as she explores what’s left of her little piece of earth. If you’re looking for a “show, don’t tell” example of what Clarke’s isolation must feel like…well dude it looks like season 5 is going to deliver visually.

Let me tell you, I’m not a very “let’s take in the scenery” person when it comes to my TV shows and movies. I love great visuals and balk at the overuse of CGI fuckery, but it’s not something that usually sparks off a “dude, did you SEE that?” thought in my brain. So that it’s the first thing that made an immediate impression to me is kind of interesting. And I’m digging it.

I Don’t Know What to Think About Octavia AT ALL and I’m Conflabberated and Conflicterated

Man, I’m so torn with Octavia.

Wait for it…

…………………wait for it……………………………

Where my Umbrugliaheads at??!!

Like, seriously I cannot decide where Octavia sits with me and the trailer does not clarify my position at all. Is she going dark or is she going to be one of the people we can depend on to do the right thing? I see her with Madi and I’m scared of what kind of influence she could exert over her, especially if O’s philosophy and methods diverge from Clarke’s. Octavia likes murder in the key of A and Clarke is more an E minor type of gal.

At times I’ve lamented over the lack of a friendship between Clarke and Octavia, and for obvious reasons their relationship has been chilly. One does not simply get over Clarke’s willingness to let you die in the TonDC bombing. I get the feeling that they only tolerate one another because of their respective relationships with Bellamy, but I REALLY want them to be friends. But now I’m like, what if it never happens the way I want? What if they’re just not MEANT to be friends? What if Octavia doesn’t travel down that “make good” track I desire for her? I have to be fine with that. Not my IP, not my creative endeavor, I’m just along for the wonderful ride.

I will tell you right the fuck now: I don’t trust Octavia one bit. Hells to the no. BUT I WANT TO. That’s my dilemma. And I kinda love the unease this instills in me.

Something that popped in my head about O and the bunker is this: Wonkru is a new thing. So what is the ruleset this new society lives by? Is this something Octavia will have to create? Is she capable of creating laws and rules and consequences for non-compliance after her experience up on the Ark? Her whole existence was pretty much defined by how punitive the Ark society was for just having more than one kid, so how exactly does a person raised and punished by that system create a system for life in essentially the same circumstances? Limited room, limited resources, close quarters, etc. Does she turn to Kane and Jaha for help? I think it’s obvious given their role in her life – and responsibility for some of her pain – that they exert some sort of influence over her. And that leads me to my SWAG (Sophisticated Wild Ass Guess) about O and Jaha.

I think Octavia kills Jaha while in the bunker. I know, this isn’t necessarily revolutionary as this has been speculated for a while now. But I think Jaha goads Octavia into killing him. Let me break it down: Jaha has a messiah complex, a need to save “his people.” Having failed spectacularly the first time with ALIE, guiding Octavia is his second chance.

At the same time, maybe Octavia is in a compromised position by being the leader of a majority Grounder coalition while having a lot of Skaikru’s old leadership in her ear. I think Grounders are going to grumble about this, cast doubt on Octavia’s commitment to ALL people, and Jaha will see sacrificing himself on her sword as a way to consolidate her power and remove any doubt that she’s committed to Wonkru. It moves Jaha’s great mission forward and maybe is a way, in his semi-twisted mind, to make up for his past sins, one of which being enforcing the laws that killed Octavia’s mom.

I’m excited by where O’s story could go. I feel she was kinda a throw-away plot-adjacent character until S4 and now seeing her come into prominence without really knowing what her priorities or intentions are is pretty exciting. But she also scares the poop outta me. And I think my fav part of the trailer was when she growled “choose.” I don’t know what’s happening there, but I’m PRETTY sure it’s a moment of badassery. And I’m smitten with female badasses.

Which makes a great segue to…

Truly Madly Deeply

So, while I’m watching the trailer, I’m quickly falling deeply in love with someone who got maybe less than 20 seconds of screen time: Charmaine Diyoza.

I kinda started sweating it because while she was cool and calm and collected and has a bit of swag, I’m also pretty certain she’s going to fuck our fam up something fierce. So I was like “damn, I better keep this under wraps because Diyoza has me SHOOK, but she’s bad news, can’t let people know I’m into her, right?”

Then I go online and EVERY FUCKING PERSON IS INTO DIYOZA. Well, those in my T100 twittersphere at least, which is curated carefully to only include the coolest yet weirdly deranged fans of this show who are into threesomes and cannibalism and alien theories and hurting one another with emotional gifs from all the emotional shows.

My shame washed away. There were others like me who loved this person who will hurt our beloved characters and we’re so here for it.

But I have to say, in order to make that strong an impression in only ~20 seconds of screen time, kudos on the casting of Ivana Milicevic as Diyoza.

I will declare it outright: I’m firmly on “Team Fuck Us Up, Diyoza.” Please play with every little emotion I have and suck out my soul until I’m a withered husk. I. AM. HERE. FOR. IT.

Also I kinda get the feeling that maybe Diyoza is a “been there, done that, stole the tee shirt” version of Clarke without all the emotion and sentimentality and complex moral conflict that has been Clarke’s brand since the jump. Diyoza is the “fuck it, let’s do it” future (bizarro) version of Clarke who seems waaaaaaaaaaaay more ruthless than our sweet baby Griffin. I am positively giddy at the thought. I love character parallels. And two strong women at cross purpose, neither totally in the right/wrong? Let the queens reign, baby, and let the bodies fall where they may.

Madi Is Kinda Awesome and This Is New For Me

You guys, I usually HATE kids in entertainment. They are the woooooooooooooorst, bizarrely portrayed by adults who somehow forgot every interaction they’ve ever had with a child and instead write them as stupid proto-human beings with the agency of a jar of mayonnaise. Children, how do they work?

But everything I’ve seen so far has me excited as fuck to meet Madi. And am I here for mama bear grizzly Clarke?

If you know one thing about me it is this: I’m all about Clarke “I’m In Charge Now” Griffin. I’m not just here for it. I’ve bought land and am building a home for it. An underground pool for it. A fire pit? Fuck yeah. I’M HERE FOR IT, GONNA PAY PROPERTY TAXES FOR IT, GOING TO BE BURIED IN THE BACK YARD FOR IT, MY ASS GONNA HAUNT THIS LAND FOR IT.

Madi provides a great opportunity to give Clarke some insight into what a little shit children can be to their mothers and give her a new appreciation for Abby. Abby often maddeningly gets the Skyler White treatment from people on Reddit and I’ve gotten to the point of not being able to speak to those people without risk of banishment. I’m such an anger baby, and here comes my anger baby rant…

WE HATE WHEN THE REAL WORLD AND REAL WORLD SHIT WE DEAL WITH ON THE DAILY IS REFLECTED BACK AT US. Who doesn’t have some form of strife with their moms? Moms are sometimes overprotective and hypocritical and irrational AND GUESS THE FUCK WHAT SO ARE THEIR KIDS. We don’t have perfect moms and we are often shitbirds as their kids, so give mumsy a break. And maybe give her a ring.

This shit just gets me mad because some of it is driven by misogyny thinly veiled as “Abby is the worst because reasons.” And my tolerance for male bullshit, white bullshit, straight bullshit, entitled bullshit, regressive bullshit is quickly reaching nil. See, anger baby.

Abby is a very understandable character if you have any empathy for the woman who raised you, wiped your poopy butt, and was likely your primary caretaker your whole childhood. When Abby goes momma bear with Clarke, I get it. Now we’re going to see Clarke in Abby’s shoes and I wonder just how far – how “hypocritical” and “irrational” – she’ll go to protect Madi. And what will our reactions be?

I think a big theme of this season is going to be our own examination of our biases and perspectives in regards to the tables being turned – Clarke is now Abby. Skaikru are now Grounders. Eligius is now Skaikru. Charmaine is now Clarke. How will we stretch our perceptions of people who have motivations we’ve empathized with before? Or hated before? How willing will we be to accept behavior and rationale once the shoe is on the other foot and that once-understandable rationale is now wielded by a “bad” guy?

Alien Shit

You guys, there’s something rolling around in the abdomen of a man (is it MURPHY??!!) and if you know anything about anything, it’s either a sentient yam OR an alien chest burster. I don’t know how many people are freaking out about this, but instead of me trying to freak out in tandem and posit any theories, I will simply direct you to my ex-podcast partner and the Michael Jordan of GIFs: Jo over at May We Geek Again. Warning…she’s kinda really into her theory and passionate about it and like an Alien movie historian and…well…you know….

Enjoy the crazy: https://twitter.com/MayWeGeekAgain/status/974350151358779392

I will say that even the slight possibility of introducing some sort of parasite or Cordyceps or anything from space that becomes a huge threat on earth is exciting as fuck. Leaning hardcore into scifi horror is not something I would have EVER predicted after season 1 and 2, when I thought I knew the show’s brand. But man…if they do this…if they DO THE THING…I’m going to pee myself. And fair to say there will be much gleeful urination from other fans as well. You can use “gleeful urination” in your review quotes, CW.

Wrestling GIF quota met! Yay me! I’m aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawesome.

Quick Hits

• Kane is getting into man-bun length hair and I can’t hate on it because I don’t hate man buns oh god there goes my street cred.
• This is straight up Dances with Wolves, yo. Tatonka!
  
• Where does O pick up the “love is weakness” line? Is there a world where she becomes a nightblood and takes the Flame?
• I dunno how the Flame fits into this season, but I always feel awkward about it because Lexa is in there and Lexa…oof…still a gut punch. Miss you boo.
• Adulting looks sooooooooo good on all these characters, especially the menfolk with facial hair like MEN. MANLY MEN DOING MANLY MEN THINGS.
• Related: I know a fainting couch is an old-fashioned gendered bullshit thing, but Bellamy and Murphy with facial hair and aged up give me the vapors.
• So many misleading cuts/editing in this trailer that it’s hard to really trust much about it. Is that Bellamy with the kobra kai leg sweep on Octavia? Is that Octavia that Bellamy is standing over? Who is anyone really fighting? Who are the fanatics? Who stands against Octavia? Is Zeke friendly? It’s all confusing and misdirecting.
  
• I’m thinking Spacekru gets separated and two or more little groups get down to earth separately…I’d say some go with the Eligius crew and some with Raven.
• And I think they get separated because Bellamy decides to only expose a couple of Spacekru’s number’s to the Eligius. He’s just keeping his people safe in a situation full of unknowns, which is prime head AND heart Bellamy.
• I’m intrigued by this desert set. Is this shot in Vancouver? Is there some Canadian desert I’m unaware of? Why does some action seem to take place here, a location I would think is hostile to life? IS THERE A DESERT IN SASKATCHEWAN? Is it were all the Sasquatches live? Is Alpha Flight headquartered there?
• YES, I MADE AN ALPHA FLIGHT REFERENCE.
• The trailer is all things for all people:
  
  Hello good space cleavage Echo!
• I worry that I don’t get enough of Raven in this trailer. I want more of her each new season and I feel like I get less than what I need of my sweet, sweet Raven.
• Is that a sonic weapon that McCreary is using? TIGHT. Just like Lucio! Except way more murdery.
• Did y’all catch that scar across Diyoza’s throat? Could it be a burn from one of those electo-collars they slap on Clarke, or did someone try to cut her throat?
• Related: “someone who survives a throat slitting = not to be fucked with” – Jo of MWGA. PREACH.
• Speaking of that electro-collar – it’s serving up some major Lincoln-torture-parallels-from-season-1 realness. Lincoln was an unknown potential threat. Clarke is an unknown potential threat. Do the math.
• Is Jonathan is my favorite Fab 5er from the new Queer Eye series?
  
• Kinda diggin’ McCreary’s long mohawk look…he’s serving up Miller from The Expanse realness. Okay, I really need to stop.
• Oh lort, don’t even get me started about my fears about who is dying in the finale, because when the cast says they were all weeping, you know it’s a doozy and likely a major player. I think it’s Abby or Kane. But I fear it’s Raven. And if it’s Raven, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.
• Not particularly crazy about dialog getting repeated every season. A minor nitpick, but it’s feeling inorganic at this point.
• How many people are in what I can only assume are cryosleep pods?
• Where was serial killer Vinson? Did I miss him?
• The Bunker’s hottest new club is Blood’s Sweet Faire. Featuring battling siblings. Blood. More blood. 90’s emo makeup. Kane in beard. Poor lighting. Depeche Mode almost inaudibly played so you’re like “is that Depeche Mode or is it in my head”? Microbrews.
  
• I lament the lack of more Echo, Raven, Murphy, Emori, Monty, Niylah, Indra, Gaia, and Harper in the trailer. I realize there’s only so much you can show in a trailer, where there’s limited time to get the broad strokes of season 5 across, but I’m INVESTED in all these beautiful people.

Parting Thoughts

• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• WHERE’S THE TRAILER?!
• I know nothing about Canada

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TWEET/RETWEET: If you enjoyed this review, could you do me a favor and share / retweet / like it on twitter? I hate to ask this because I hate asking anyone to do anything for me, but I’d really appreciate it.

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE 100 MUSIC!: Hey people who like sounds entering your ear holes! I have a Spotify playlist, which is music from and inspired by The 100. You can find it right here and marvel at my musical tastes. I keep it up to date with anything featured on the show or in promos.

SHIT YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING WHEN NOT WATCHING THE 100: 

These are a couple ICYMI shows that are excellent and you need to come flail with us on Twitter over these series:

• The Expanse – a truly great sci fi series that looks freakin’ fantastic, has a great cast, contains some mind blowing moments, and boasts fuckin Chrisjen Avasarala who can rock a red furred cloak like a QUEEN. I swear all fealty to Chrisjen!
  
• The Leftovers – likely the best TV show ever? IMHO, it has everything, including Carrie Coon, who somehow miraculously started “mainstream” acting as a woman in her 30s. She’s a revelation. This whole show is amazeballs. If you ever want to derail my day, just start tweeting Leftovers gifs at me and I’m ruint. RUINT.

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There are some The 100 reviewers/recaps/writers you should absolutely be reading, and I offer them up for your enjoyment; I have no affiliation with any of them, save for being a fan:

• Selina Wilken – a mix of passionate fandom and truly professional journalism.
• Erin Brown – unfairly beautiful writing. Like seriously, stop being so good.
• McKenzie Morrell – recapping her damn face off and great interviews with the cast!
• Toni_watches – piss your goddamn pants funny photo recaps.
• Jo Garfein – great fandom charity auctions.

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Disclosure: this is my own indie site. This is on my time, my dime. Becho is endgame.