Congrats on winning the Conclave Octavia! And you’ve united the clans! It would be a shame if Clarke screwed everything up by seizing control of the bunker and locking everyone out.

GODDAMMIT CLARKE.

Other than my anger over the twist at the end of the episode, how did I like the rest of “Die All, Die Merrily”? I mean, there was a lot of hype going into this puppy, both from reviewers and those involved with the show. So my expectations were mega high. What do I think of the episode?

It was…wait for it…

Honestly, for a non-Clarke centric episode (you know she’s my boo), it might be one of my favorite episodes of the whole damn series. It was fucking epic.

“Die All, Die Merrily” was written by Aaron Ginsberg and Wade McIntyre, writing duo extraordinaire, and these guys have given us some of the best (and my personal favs) of the series. So my expectations were high just due to the writing team. And holy fucksticks, did they deliver. Forget Praimfaya in a couple days, this episode melted my freakin’ face off and kicked me in the stomach for good measure. Then it backed a truck over my still quivering body. Three times. And set me on fire. For good measure.

I could not have been more into this episode unless a wormhole in the time/space continuum opened up and sucked me into an alternate dimension where the show actually exists. (Fun fact: I did get side-tracked once to the 100 world while time traveling back to the 80’s to get my Genesis “Abacab” tape (long story), and let me tell you, the Hundredverse earth is NO FUN. Not one Dunkin Donuts to be had nor any decent queso. I can’t exist in a realm without queso).

I watched “Die All, Die Merrily” like I play video games on my PS4: At the edge of my seat, one of my legs bouncing, me swearing like a pirate at my TV.

This was NOT a sit back and watch episode for me…this was a literal edge of my seat anxiety ride.

Pour One Out For Our Departed Grounders

Well, when you have battle royale where only one gets to live, you’re going to have some deaths along the way. Just sort of a function of the whole event. I can’t say I’m happy about all the people who died, but it was necessary to the premise. Let’s remember the fallen…

Ilian
Oh Ilian. I liked you despite realizing you were partly a plot device who got a little more screen time than Gina. I’m going to miss him because even though we didn’t get a ton of him, I felt he was instantly understandable due to his experience in the City of Light.

Despite having Octavia reject his offer of an alliance in the Conclave, he protected her when it seemed her goose was cooked when cornered by three warriors. Ilian, although representing Trishanakru, was a son and a farmer first and foremost and was gentle in much the same way Lincoln was. It’s nice seeing non-warrior Grounders and learning about their perspective on life. That their lives are short and brutal is sad.

Echo made quick work of him with an arrow through the throat, which was our first shock of the episode. Even though they weren’t as emotionally entwined as Octavia and Lincoln, at least Octavia was able to say goodbye and give Ilian a proper send off. RIP Ilian.

Roan
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT ROAN IS DEAD. Plain and simple, I don’t want Roan to be dead. Therefore he isn’t dead.

Roan has faked drowning before. He COULD still be alive, but obviously badly burnt by the black rain. He’s just too great a character to be dead. I feel like we’re not done with him because this show is in sore need of good, honorable leaders because we all know there are none in the fucking bunker right now. The journos on social media are going out of their way to say he is confirmed dead. Is it a journo’s responsibility to squash fan theories this hard? Like trying REALLY hard to convince us that he’s dead.

Trust no one.

Until he’s confirmed dead on the show, I hold out hope. (But real talk, he’s probably dead y’all, because networks don’t lie to journos and journos usually don’t lie to readers…not entertainment journos at least, although I have this crackpot theory that the journos have been directed to lie, but it places a great deal of faith that the journos are okay with lying to their readers…trust is a commodity in media…but as fans would we forgive because it was a “good” lie maybe?…I’m obviously trying to overthink this into “of course he’s alive and they’re all in on it” when Occam’s Razor should apply here…he’s dead.)

Out of all the Grounder leaders, I feel like he was the best one of the bunch, given that we’ve seen most of them have their fair share of issues and blindspots. He wanted his people to survive, but realized that humanity, above all, needed saving, and allied with Octavia to fight Luna. He also rejected Echo’s attempt at cheating, casting her out of the Ice Nation for her treachery. He wants to win, but he wants to do it by honoring the rules of the Conclave. No point in calling out Clarke’s bullshit attempt to become Commander in violation of the Grounder traditions if he’s going to allow Echo to cheat the very next day.

While I do feel Roan is truly dead, I want him to be alive because someone has to put a stop to Skaikru, but do it without killing all of them, as I suspect many clans will want to do now that they’ve essentially stolen the bunker. I also need the Roan/Clarke bestie relationship to continue (after a stern talking to from Roan to Clarke). It’s obvious that there’s a huge lack of leader role models for Clarke now (sorry, but drawing on Dante and Jaha isn’t serving her well), and Roan could be that guy. RIP Roan.

Luna
My take on Luna is pretty simple:

I’m glad we got Luna herself to explain her massive heel turn this episode. Or, to hear her tell it, she was always a heel, but in isolation off on her little rig, she could pretend that people could live in peace. Which, of course, they can if they’re removed from the larger context of the world and left to do their own thing.

I think it’s important to note that her heel turn started when Skaikru intruded in her world. She lost her love, then eventually her people, and Skaikru continued to use her for their medical experiments. Yes, I know that Abby and Clarke were trying to save everyone using Nightblood, but let’s face it, they went dark many times in their attempt.

I guess I’m a little disappointed with Luna because I’m struggling to reconcile the person who helped Raven get through a seizure with the nutball trying to win the conclave to doom everyone to death. Where did my nice, crunchy Grounder Stevie Nicks go?

While I’m a bit let down by Luna’s trajectory, I understand it. She wasn’t a peaceful person forced to do horrible things due to the happenstance of being a Nightblood. She was a dark person who tried to force herself to be benevolent. In the end, Skaikru showed her that humanity wasn’t worth saving. People were always going to fight and hurt and kill each other. Use others to their own purposes. Just be massive douchebags.

While her character development may have gotten a too little fast-tracked to get her to this point of “everyone must die,” I can rationalize it. Of course, I have to work at it a bit, but sometimes the show asks us to do a little mental heavy-lifting. But man, I really liked Luna…I would have liked to see more of her, understand her a bit better. She was different…until she really wasn’t. RIP Luna, you Lunatic.

And RIP my Grounder Stevie Nicks joke. I hope it’s gone to the giant Fajita Roundup in the sky.

She’s The Hero Skaikru Deserves, But Not The One They Want Right Now. So They’ll Doubt Her. Because She Can Take It.

You’d be lying if you realistically believed Octavia Blake could win the Conclave. A young woman with 6 or so months of training versus warriors with tons of experience and the the battle scars to prove it. Clarke certainly didn’t believe she could win, it’s all over her face. Kane, Bellamy, and Indra were a little more faithful, but Bellamy knew she couldn’t beat the warriors if she approaches the Conclave like the rest of them: head on. Even the look on Octavia’s face as the battle gets started tells you all you need to know: she’s in over her head.

The issue I’ve always had with Octavia is that her character was never vital to the story line. It always felt that her story ran parallel to the main narrative, but her impact on it was negligible. Think about it. You could realistically remove her character completely from the story and aside from being the way to introduce Lincoln to the story, she wasn’t necessary.

But I have been a huge fan of her character development. One of my favorite scenes in the whole series is from season 2 when she challenged the Trikru warrior, and despite being her ass kicked, she refused to stay down. She’s come a helluva long way from this stock CW character:

To this utter badass:

So, was Octavia’s narrative one long slow burn until she became vital and irreplaceable in “Die All, Die Merrily”? Well, I think Octavia’s journey has been one of an outsider, someone who doesn’t feel completely at home with any people – not Skaikru, not the Grounders, and not even her brother after the events of season 3. This emotional isolation of course is going to create a divergence from the main story. If she were with Clarke and Bellamy all the time on their adventures, the point of her feeling out of place would have been lost on us and we would have likely doubted it.

That she chooses to represent Skaikru at the Conclave feels right, if not a bit obligatory. I don’t think she’s fighting for Skaikru as a concept as much as her friends and family, not matter how estranged she’s been from them at various times throughout the series. It feels like everything that Octavia’s been through has been leading up to her being the only character that could fit into this moment. Skaikru needed a warrior, and the only one who truly fits that role, however new she is to it, is Octavia. Octavia’s participation in the Conclave and winning it also represents the convergence of all the aspects of who she is, even if she’s felt each component of her person is incomplete.

The Skaikru Persona: The Girl Under The Floor
I really think Octavia could take or leave Skaikru as a group and individuals like Jaha as they have meant nothing but subjugation to her. Having to live her life in hiding because her existence was forbidden resulted in a life of fear. Fear of being found out, of living being a crime that put her loved ones in mortal danger. She had no one but her mother and brother to depend on, and that dependency followed her to the ground when Bellamy stowed away on the dropship.

What Octavia learned on the ground was how to be her own woman. Indra and Lincoln had an impact on her growth, but no one determines what Octavia does anymore but Octavia. What Bellamy needed a ton of time to learn is that Octavia is her own own person. And by the end of “Die All, Die Merrily,” I feel he not only got that, but he admitted it to himself and to Roan (and an eavesdropping Octavia).

The part of her Skaikru persona – and her past on the Ark – that served her most was the lessons learned from being the girl under the floor. How to hide from sight to protect herself and her family.

Bellamy: Be the girl under the floor.

Bellamy knows she didn’t have as much experience or skill as the other warriors, but what she does have is smarts, and the cunning to hide when she needs to. Bellamy and Kane point out that she doesn’t need to kill all 12 warriors, just the last one. You don’t have to be the best warrior, just the smartest.

The Grounder persona: Skairipa
Octavia learned how to be a warrior from Indra and Lincoln, even when she strayed from the path they would have chosen for her. Becoming an assassin may have served Roan’s needs for awhile, but it made her seem like an empty shell. Octavia stuffed down her feelings after Lincoln’s death, blamed Bellamy for having a part in it, and reveled a little too much in the death of others by her hand.

I think her journey through her Grounder persona has been one of losing sight of the true warrior spirit. You fight for a reason, not just to kill. Lincoln believed in peace, but even he knew that sometimes you have to spill blood to attain peace. It’s not like he was naive in that respect, but I feel both he and Indra tried to instill in Octavia that conflict should have a purpose. The Octavia that arrived back in Polis at the end of the last episode was just looking for a war. She was pretty far away from her place as Indra’s second and Lincoln’s love.

We see her fight and kill others in the Conclave, but it’s a matter of necessity, and she doesn’t revel in it. When she was the Skairipa, you could see on her face either a sense of complacency or pride in her ability to kill without discretion. However, the Octavia in the Conclave is scared. And it’s a healthy fear…it’s a fear that keeps her on her toes, keeps her thinking of ways to stay safe. This is a warrior far closer to who Indra had taken as her second than who she was as Roan’s assassin.

The Conclave Champion Persona: Okteivia kom Skaikru
In the end, I think Octavia learned a great deal about herself through the Conclave, and about honor and love. Through Roan, she saw that honor was an admirable trait, not a weakness, and it drove Roan to banish Echo and spare Bellamy. His pragmatism drove him to forge an alliance with Octavia. And his bravery led him to give one last-ditch effort to defeat Luna, knowing he was perhaps humanity’s only hope.

Through Bellamy, she understood that she could be her own person and not be at odds with her brother, as he gave her the recognition she needed as someone he was proud and lucky to have as a sister.

Through Kane and Indra, she got the surrogate mom and dad that helped teach and protect her, both from life on the ground and her own anger and grief. Through Lincoln, she learned that all people are essentially the same and deserve the chance to live. One clan is not above another.

It took all of these influences to help shape Octavia, but it was ultimately her decision, and sign of her strength of character, to share the bunker. Yes, that means not everyone in each clan will survive, but at least each clan will have a chance. As she says to Kane, who brings up this fact, Octavia simply says, “It’s Unity Day Kane.”

And perhaps it’s not just Unity Day for the clans, it’s her own Unity Day of combining the parts of her that are Skaikru and Grounder. She is no longer wholly one or the other, and maybe she was trying too hard to pick a side, when neither truly fit her. Not anymore. She’s the person Lexa was dreaming about when talking about being one people.

If Octavia’s journey, much of it tangential to the main plot, was always intended to come to this point, I have to say it was worth it. Octavia deserved to carry this episode on her back and Marie Avgeropoulos was outstanding. She was emotive and physical in what was a barn burner of an episode that might be one of the definitive entries of the series.

Jesus Christ, this episode guys. It was freakin’ amazing.

The Audience Transition: From Skaikru Aligned To Grounder Aligned

Something I was thinking about this morning and decided might be good to include in my review is how our sympathies have been slowly changing from being us being on Skaikru’s side to being somewhat antagonistic towards them. At least I feel that we’ve been lead carefully to being aligned with Octavia and Kane in trying to unite all the clans for one purpose. Clarke has also expressed this desire but abandoned it at the very real threat of Luna winning the Conclave and killing all humanity.

I do believe all of this is purposeful to show us that Skaikru can be just as “savage” as the Grounders, they just tend to be more high-falutin’ about it. Skaikru was willing to use the same techniques as the Mountain Men in regards to Luna’s blood, but hey, they’re Skaikru guys…we’re supposed to identify with them and like them, right?

In their current iteration, I do not sympathize with Skaikru, aka Clarke and Jaha. It’s not that the Grounders are ace decision makers either…remember, so much of this could have been avoided if Indra and Trikru weren’t so fucking stubborn in regards to Ice Nation.

But at least the Grounders have been mostly straight-up this season. You want the bunker? Okay, let’s have a Conclave to fight it out. To the winner go the spoils. No complicated plan, no subterfuge, just tradition and the trust that their ways will be respected by all involved.

Of course, we have those folks who have broken away from the Skaikru as a monolithic block of people. What do I mean by this? Think about Miller. He’s part of that monolith right now. He’s not questioning the decisions being made, he’s merely enforcing them. Bellamy, Kane, and Octavia, on the other hand, while concerned about the survival of Skaikru, are concerned with doing it the right way. Or at least that’s my take on it.

Bellamy of all people might be the key to get Clarke to change her mind to accept the results of the Conclave and Octavia’s decision of surviving together. Bellamy…the guy that sided with Pike against the Grounders last season. Jesus, this guy has been redeemed in my eyes. I’m fully on board with Bellamy as the heart of Skaikru right now, while Clarke and Jaha are the head. They’re logical, but they’re cold. So cold.

No…not that type of cold…I meant…oh…never mind. Sometimes you just can’t find the gif you need to express your message.

I’ve gone from “fuck those Grounders” from the end of season 2 and Lexa’s betrayal to “fuck Skaikru.” That I’ve come 180 degrees is a testament to the evolution of conflict between the clans. While I’ve often said I find the Skaikru versus Grounder conflict to be a bit worn out, I’m now kinda thinking that without revisiting that conflict and kinda flipping things slowly, I wouldn’t now be all like I HATE SKAIKRU AND CLARKE AND JAHA AND FUCK THOSE GUYS IN THEIR EYE HOLES!!!

Who am I anymore?

I love the sudden realization that the script has been flipped. That I’m screaming “fuck you Clarke” at my TV at the end of the episode shows you how far the writers have strung me along. I’M THROWING SHADE AT MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE CHARACTER. How?

You Either Die A Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become Clarke Griffin

Let’s tackle Clarke Griffin, the mastermind behind the plan to seize the bunker from, well, everyone else. I predicted in my review last episode that she would cheat, but when she disappeared from the bulk of the episode, and Echo was a revealed as a cheater instead, I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt pretty confident that Clarke had learned her lesson and was going to respect the results of the Conclave.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? The minute that Roan rejected one last alliance to take down Luna, the look on Clarke’s face told us all we needed to know. No one’s going to win in single combat versus Luna, and there’s no way in hell Clarke is going to let humanity die because Luna’s suddenly embraced her inner homicidal misanthrope. Clarke has gotten so out of control when it comes to needing to be in control, it’s not even funny. I just didn’t realize how far she’d go.

I addressed my issues with Clarke in my review of the previous episode, “DNR”. I expressed that I hope the writers are intentionally making her less and less sympathetic and her emotional isolation from both other people and the results of her decisions are leading us somewhere good. I’m now pretty confident that Clarke is exactly where the writers want her to be. And I am here for it, even if it hurts.

1 WRESTLING GIF PER REVIEW REQUIREMENT MET

In the grand scheme of the show, you cannot say that Clarke’s decisions this season have been out of character. I think we were introduced to this person in season 2, when Dark Clarke came to be. She made some hardcore decisions. But Dark Clarke suffered for those decisions. She struggled with them, and they cost her emotionally. She had a personal attachment to people, both those she tried to save and those that she got killed, either intentionally (Mount Weather) or through inaction (TonDC bombing).

Season 2 Clarke was amazing to watch because even if her decisions were sometimes hard to take, we understood them. Not just because there weren’t necessarily better routes to take, but because each one wore on her. We saw the toll they took on her. And ultimately, they broke her down to the point she had to just leave.

The Clarke we were re-introduced to in season 3 was a bit colder, more calculating. After Lexa died, I think her ability to connect with people and humanize her decisions was intentionally lessened over time by the writers. Lexa’s death continues to reverberate in Clarke as she’s enclosed herself emotionally, moving forward with purpose, but not with feeling. And as a huge fan of her character, it’s problematic.

But not problematic in a bad way. Guess what…I’m not getting the Clarke I want this season. Instead I’m getting a Clarke that has evolved in a trajectory that is much closer to Dante and Jaha than Lexa and Roan. And I don’t have to like it. In fact, in a moment of anger after the “twist” was revealed, I blurted out: “oh, she needs to die.”

WHAT? CLARKE’S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER AND I’M READY TO KILL HER OFF!

I blame the heat of the moment. I no longer think that she needs to die, so calm your tits. I was just sooooo pissed. Most stuff on broadcast TV doesn’t make me even arch an eyebrow. Most of the stuff on my DVR is something to maybe play in the background while I grind away on Hearthstone, and to be honest, I don’t remember most of it. Only REALLY GOOD SHIT on TV gets me this hyped and riled up and happy and angry and awed all at once.

Guys. Seriously. If I didn’t think this was leading to a good payoff (hopefully a breakdown, maybe a “would Lexa want you to become this person?” mic drop from maybe Abby or Bellamy or…dare I say…Murphy?) I would be hella mad that I’ve turned on Clarke. But man, I’m all in on where ever this is going. At this point, I have to put all my faith in the writers that they’ve slowly turned Clarke heel for a reason.

From a logical perspective, everything that Clarke has done makes sense. I get it, I really do. I don’t have to like her methods. I think she’s crossed lines in the past, but now it’s become easy and habitual…I don’t even think she sees the lines anymore. I just can’t wait to see it all pan out next episode through the finale.

The Blakes Are Everything

Bellamy has been, for me, turning in a fantastic back half of the season. I was a little tired of his redemption/woe is me tour in the early and middle bits of the season, but man, the last couple of episodes have featured him coming into his own as what he needs to be in order to hopefully save Skaikru from itself. When he admitted to Kane that he couldn’t tell Octavia that he loved her, I had a sad.

But when he tracked down a rogue Echo, and was ready to kill her to protect Octavia, that was pretty much the Bellamy we expect to see. He’s had some issues of late expressing himself to Octavia, and in fairness, she’s had her issues in being receptive to his extensions of an olive branch. But when Bellamy told Roan that not only would Octavia win, but that Roan should use his dying breath to tell her that Bellamy is lucky to be her brother, I was misty.

Octavia, of course, overheard this. Bellamy is completely unaware of it, which makes his pride in Octavia that much more meaningful. He’s not saying it to get back in her good graces…he really believes it.

Man, would I be pushing my luck with this episode if I said I would have totally eaten up a Bellamy and Octavia hug at the end? I know Bellamy was busy getting kidnapped by Jaha and all, but that hug needs to happen because it will be everything. I realize that a hug couldn’t have happened prior to the Conclave because it hadn’t really been earned yet. But when the huge does happen, it will be all that and a bag of chips. Like really good chips too, not just your run of the mill Lays, but like some awesome kettle cooked shit.

Can We Talk About All The Freaking Fighting Stuff?

While this episode wasn’t all fighting, as there were some moments to let us catch our breath, it was pretty freakin’ amazing from an action point of view. We got a good taste of one-on-one Grounder combat when Lexa and Roan fought, so this was like that but on steroids! And it was brutal and surprising in many ways, and pretty obvious that the most dangerous person out there was Luna.

But we all know it takes more than fighting skills to win…and Octavia proved that with cunning, misleading Luna with a trail of blood and sneaking up on her to deliver the killing blow.

I have to admit, I wasn’t sure Octavia was going to survive this episode. This show lulled me into a false sense of security before (part show fault, part my fault), so while I didn’t want Octavia to die, I also didn’t know how someone with so little training could win. Even with hiding and biding her time, she had some very close calls. So I was extremely scared and nervous for Octavia, to say the least.

Dude, did you see Luna leap up on a wall and kill that guy? Did you see Roan take that one guys huge hammer and crush his head with it? Did you see Ilian come from the freakin’ sky to Octavia’s aid? Did you see Octavia slice that dude’s twig off?

One of my desires with this show has been to see full-fledged war: army versus army, but I realize that doing something of that scale will often come down to budget and the ability to shoot it in a way that doesn’t make it ultimately seem small and cheaply produced. I have to say, this Conclave and the combat choreography sated my desire for said war. After last season’s Game of Thrones battle scene, it’s hard to find anything that would even come close to that, especially on a CW budget, and all battles are now judged by that episode. Even freakin’ MOVIES.

I mean…I don’t think we’ll ever see anything on TV like this again:

So close quarters, individual combat was the way to go. And it allowed Octavia to shine in a way that a larger war scene would have been hard to do.

The great thing about this episode is that it mixed so much great character stuff and dialog with the action, so it didn’t let one aspect wane in service to the other components of the show. And that’s a hard balancing act to pull off.

Wanheda And Skai Ripa – Role Reversal?

Clarke and Octavia are the only ones with little Grounder nicknames, but I wonder if they’ve switched titles. Commanding death is not something Clarke is doing any longer. Commanding something implies control. She’s straight-out bringing death lately. And Octavia might indeed have been death from above throughout the season, but with her decision to share the bunker, she literally commands death…or rather, ensures that it won’t take all of the clans. Because if you can command death, you can command it to not kill.

Like, hey Death, lay off the, uh, death a bit, okay? Cool.

It’s like Clarke completely lost control of Death and she’s not the Commander of Death anymore, but more like the Babysitter of Death and Death is currently hopped up on Sour Patch Kids and Mountain Dew and using the 60″ flat screen TV as a tennis ball backstop while screaming “stop hitting me!” in order to blackmail her into not disciplining him should the neighbors grow suspicious.

Death is an asshole.

Just a little tidbit to think about, since their Grounder titles are often used with both of them this season. I think the repetition of these words – Wanheda and Skairipa – is significant. I don’t know if I’m being extremely anal here, trying to split hairs, but I think that the two most important women in this episode make equally impactful and far-reaching decisions, but with a different set of information available to them and very different results.

Mom And Dad And Their Gaggle Of Troublesome, Misbehaving Kids

Kane and Indra have the weirdest Brady Bunch of kids ever. Bellamy, Octavia, and Gaia make for one weird family (not to mention all the other kids Kane keeps trying to adopt, and Indra’s all like “Kane…..really? No! Put that kid back, geez!”).

Remember back in season 2 when Indra took Octavia on as her second and Kane thought it was good because it positioned Octavia to keep on eye on Indra and the Grounders? And now Indra and Kane are basically faux married with a bunch of troublesome children to keep an eye on.

Yes, all the hugging had me blaming my allergies for getting misty-eyed, but man, Indra was killing me this episode. To be honest I’m still a bit sore at Trikru for scuttling a truce to share the bunker, but Indra delivers in spades when she needs to. First she gives her sword to Octavia (originally meant for Gaia, who took a different path, and if we can get some sibling rivalry between the two next season, I’m HERE FOR IT). Then, upon Octavia’s victory and declaration that they’re doing sharesies on the bunker, says that Lincoln would be proud.

Girl, we all proud. Octavia is our boo.

And what about Kane trying to do his combat-weakness-scouting of the other warriors?

Kane on the NFL draft (probably): word is, that kid out of Clemson has some arm strength and accuracy issues, but he’s a stone-cold winner when the chips are down 

So cute. I know I often take the piss out of Kane because he’s been entirely useless this season as a leader/ambassador/politician, but he still holds a place in my heart for always trying to do the right thing and looking out for the delinquents. And of course because he’s a sexy beast, and the show is already down a couple sexy beardy beasts now because of SHUMWAY and GINSBERG/McINTYRE.

THANKS A LOT GUYS.

And for all their efforts, Kane and Indra are locked out of the bunker. I guess Surrogate!MomandDad’s fates are intertwined, which is fine by me. I love this pair. The problem is I’m SO FREAKIN’ SCARED that one of them is going to die.

That Indra made it out of this episode alive is a great relief to me. Did Adina Porter just give all the best hugs this episode? I so want to see more of the Indra/Gaia/Octavia dynamic next season. I feel like there’s some family drama that could play out here, and since we’re running low on named Grounders, I think these two could get some focus in S5. So writers, please don’t kill them. We haven’t gotten this far just to have a bunch of fan favorites die in Praimfaya. That would be laaaaaaaaaaame.

Indra, please don’t be mad at Kane for what his stupid people have done. He’s going to need a hug after this betrayal of you BOTH.

This Week In FanDUMB

Nothing. Y’all get the week off from me taking the piss.

I am a benevolent asshole.

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Parting Thoughts

• My ship, Slarke (soap + Clarke) is still CANON, but now since I’m having problems with Clarke, I’m really only a fan of soap at the moment. Can some Bellarkers help me out with how to hate one half of my ship since some of you guys have made an art of it?
• Helios didn’t win the Conclave, but he didn’t not NOT win either. Not sayin’, just sayin’.
• Becho is still endgame. Turns out they into some kinky auto-erotic asphyxiation shit though.
• How is Gaia running all this shit when there’s tons of older Flamekeepers around? Not that I’m complaining, I’m just wondering what qualifications one needs to be a Flamekeeper…possession of the actual flame?
• I have a hard time believing Abby went along with the decision that would ultimately mean Kane and Octavia got locked out of the bunker…she needs to ground Clarke.
• I’m hardcore keeping my eyes on the Flame for the next couple of episodes…no way it gets forgotten in all this, right?
• I’ll be curious to get Murphy’s take of the whole situation. I know he’s a cockroach that always finds a way to survive, but I’d like to know what he thinks of Clarke’s decision. I feel that his heart is opening up as Clarke’s has been closing.
• Think there’s any chance Skaikru could leave the bunker and be all like “hey fam, we just got everything all nice and cozy for everyone. Oh, you thought we were taking the bunker for ourselves? Don’t be silly! We all good.”? Nope, me neither.
• You know what Clarke really needs? Another visit by ghost dad to shake her up and get her back in touch with her heart.
• I’m 99% certain that Niylah isn’t in that bunker with Skaikru, even though she was hanging with them at Arkadia. In which case…REALLY CLARKE? Really? REALLY? Just…really.
  
• BUT WHAT IF ROAN REALLY IS ALIVE? I’m hopeless, y’all. I’m starting to piss myself off because I’m being irrational here.

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FINAL VERDICT!

“Die All, Die Merrily”: 9.5 out of 10 out of 13 clan members clashing

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TWEET/RETWEET: If you enjoyed this review, could you do me a favor and share / retweet / like it on twitter? I hate to ask this because I hate asking anyone to do anything for me, but I’d really appreciate it.

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE 100 MUSIC!: Hey people who like sounds entering your ear holes! I have a Spotify playlist, which is music from and inspired by The 100. You can find it right here and marvel at my musical tastes. I keep it up to date with anything featured on the show or in promos. I’m thorough like that.

SHIT YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING WHEN NOT WATCHING THE 100*: 
Legion: HOLY SHIT
Leftovers: HOLY SHIT (maybe literally…who knows where this show is going)
The Expanse: HOLY SHIT
Sense 8: HOLY SHIT HERE COME THE ORGIES

*will try to recommend new stuff each week

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There are some The 100 reviewers/recaps/writers you should absolutely be reading, and I offer them up for your enjoyment; I have no affiliation with any of them, save for being a fan:

• Erin Brown – unfairly beautiful writing. Like seriously, stop being so good.
• McKenzie Morrell – recapping her damn face off and great interviews with the cast!
• Toni_watches – piss your goddamn pants funny photo recaps.
• Selina Wilken – a mix of passionate fandom and truly professional journalism.
• Jo Garfein – Hosts The Dropship podcast and has some great fandom charity auctions

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If you’re a fan of the show, join us on Reddit for deep discussions, wacky shenanigans, Trigedasleng lessons, and clan flair! It’s the least toxic place you can find right now for The 100 fandom. Mods got that shit on lockdown.