So, how y’all doing after last week? Is this about right?

 

Yeah, that was me too.

But then things got better, as they always do. Happiness crept back into my world. My doggie did doggie things that always make me smile. I had a pretty good cheeseburger. My University of Illinois and Houston Texans sportsball teams did something exciting (Lovie Smith! Brock Osweiler! Lamar Miller!). I made Brussels sprouts for the first time and they didn’t suck. I dove into crazy Hundyverse theories on Reddit about Ontari and A.L.I.E. and the Clurphy team up and black blood. Like Councilwoman Leslie Knope, I quickly got back on the horse and resumed kicking ass and taking names.

Which really just means I dragged myself out of bed, mumbled, “ugh, time to life again, better pretend like I know what I’m doing,” and got about the business of adulting. 

First off, let’s start with the great news: The 100 has been renewed for a season 4 by the CW! To steal my friend Calvin’s phrase, used at the beginning of each new Texans season, “It’s a celebration, bitches!”

This is fantastic news for the fans, cast, crew, and writers of this show. Congrats. I’m stoked for a forth season because I know there’s so much more story to explore.

The CW renewed all of their winter/spring shows, including Jane the Virgin and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in a shocker. I have to give it up to the CW…they are certainly not acting like broadcast TV, but more like prestige cable networks such as FX and AMC. They are keeping interesting, challenging, and fun shows on the air and I applaud them for taking chances the big four dinosaurs would not.

This review is being fueled by Aberlour 12 Non Chill-Filtered. The Aberlour 12 year double barrel expression is good, but the NCF version is a step above. I would literally slurp this out of Kane’s beard. It’s delish.

Let’s get into it!

The Game Is Afoot!

This week’s The 100 episode is all about the struggle for Arkadia. Pike vs. Kane. Civil war is brewing.

Hmmm…I wonder what faction I’m rooting for (CW – please email me for my address to ship the sexy beardy Rebel Leader Kane full size body pillow I just know you are manufacturing for me, ‘kay, thanks. Oh, and I’ve decided I need a Dark Clarke pillow as well. Just for crying, I swear. No funny business).

Okay, maybe a little funny business.

The Grounders have set up their barricade and will starve out Arkadia unless they get their one simple ask: hand over Pike for his crimes against the Grounders. Sound familiar? It does to Bellamy – it’s Finn all over again. Bellamy swiftly kills the two Grounder messengers. Damn. His slide into darkness continues.

The blockade bad news for Arkadia, and Kane knows this won’t end well unless he can talk sense into Pike or overthrow him.

The main story line is a nice little cat and mouse game between Pike (boooo!) and sexy beardy Rebel Leader Kane (yay!). It’s tense but extremely rewarding to watch unfold. And then eventually unravel. Lots of twists and turns, so let’s see if I can sum up the chess moves:

1. Pike meets with his inner circle – Hannah, Monty, and Bellamy – and orders camp-wide surveillance. He suspects that his orders are being leaked before they can be carried out.
2. Kane and his inner circle – Miller and Harper (!!!) – hear this and decide to proceed with caution, changing their meet up locations
3. Pike figures out there’s a bug in his office and sets Kane up by detailing a fake plan to take out a rover and attack a Grounder village
4. Kane enlists Sinclair to help put a hitch in this plan by disabling the rover
5. Pike sends Bellamy to arrest Sinclair and puts a stop to Kane’s shenanigans
6. But Kane has many shenanigans up his sleeve because surprise! he knew he was found out and wanted Sinclair to get arrested to deliver a message to the interned Grounders
7. A prison riot occurs as Sinclair and Lincoln fake a fight to get the prison door open, and the melee spills out into the hall. The guards sound the alarm, and call in reinforcements from the rest of the camp
8. The riot was a mere distraction! Kane shocklashes Pike and throws him into the back of the Rover, determined to bust out of Arkadia and deliver Pike to the Grounders
9. Bellamy stops Kane at the gate, standing in front of the rover. Kane, being awesome and caring, refuses to run over Bellamy in order to make his escape
10. Pike accuses Kane of treason, kidnapping, and attempted murder and … sentences him to DEATH.

So, I didn’t have a great reaction to this death sentence. Basically, my comment over on Reddit was: “I swear to god, if they kill Kane, I will fuck some shit up.” I don’t even know what I mean by this, I just know that after losing Lexa last week, I don’t know if I could handle losing sexy beardy Kane. He’s evolved to become camp dad to the delinquents and a leader that BOTH Skaikru and the Grounders need.

I think Harper really had the best plan: “…we could just shocklash Pike’s fascist ass and hand him to the Grounders.” YAS QUEEN.

Amusingly, Kane had to follow Harper’s advice in the end. This was really the best moment in the history of history, am I right guys?:

 A Tale Of Two Leaders

This all may look like a power struggle, and at its base, it is, but it’s really the fight for Arkadia’s soul. Pike wants to rule with an iron fist and wipe out all the Grounders he can in order to “protect” Skaikru. He’s myopic when it comes to the Grounders: they are all bad, they cannot be trusted, and they will betray Skaikru at every chance.

And on the face of it, he’s not entirely wrong. The Grounders have been aggressive since the 100 landed on the ground. They killed without question. After a forming a treaty with Skaikru to fight Mount Weather together, Lexa left them high and dry to die in the mountain. Then Azgeda finally destroyed Mount Weather, killing 49 people. The Grounders haven’t exactly endeared themselves to Skaikru.

Obviously, the situation is a bit more complex than what I just outlined. Many fences have been mended by Clarke, Lexa, and Kane, but Pike is having none of it. And in his fervor to fight the Grounders – which is suicide by the way – he’s become paranoid, like police state paranoid.

I don’t know what Pike is thinking at all. I mean, strategically, they are down to two weeks of heavily rationed food, limited ammo, and a position that is not very defensible. Am I the only one around here thinking that the dude that taught earth skills aboard the Ark is NOT the brightest of military minds? Guys, seriously, does anyone not see that Pike, aside from being a freakin’ fascist doodie head, has absolutely no idea what he’s doing when it comes to military strategy?

I really hope there’s a special hell just for Pike. A Sisyphean hell. One where he has to put IKEA furniture together for all eternity. Just nothing but little wooden pegs and tiny hex wrenches and particle board dust and splinters and instructions in hieroglyphics. And there’s always a piece missing so he can never complete his work.

Kane, on the other hand, has not only grown the world’s sexiest beard (and a glorious mane of hair to match), he has grown into a character I’ve already gushed about incessantly. He essentially kicked the old Kane to the curb after he watched Abby get shocklashed for gun running – a punishment he handed down. That moment marked a sea change in his character. Instead of ruling Skaikru and staunchly adhering to their laws, he sought to find a better way, to become a better man, and he emerged as the Kane we see today. He’s a father-figure to the younger members of Skaikru and a defacto leader because he, like Lexa and Clarke, can envision a better future for all of their people. One that doesn’t involve endless war and killing.

Unfortunately, he’s no longer in a position to lead the Arkadians towards that future in an official capacity, so he’ll do it as sexy beardy Rebel Leader Kane. He knows that Pike is a dictator and calls Pike out on it, very much putting himself in jeopardy, but this is Kane doing the best he can to fix things without bloodshed. It’s only after Pike – and then Bellamy – refuse to listen to reason that he’s forced to go outside of the rule of law and tries to turn Pike over to the Grounders for his crimes.

A recurring theme with this show is that talking rationally to people and appealing to their better natures doesn’t work all too well. Pike and the Grounders are still very entrenched in the “blood must have blood” mentality that keeps the world in a status quo of endless violence. Kane is trying his own version of “blood must not have blood” over in Arkadia and it falls on deaf ears. You can’t say he didn’t try, and we love him for doing so. But we also cheered him on when he threw Pike’s ass in the back of the rover and tried to escape Arkadia and get to the Grounders to turn Pike over to die.

Hannah Is The Worst. The Absolute Worst.

I have some wacky theories about Hannah and Pike, which I’ll cover later (to your horror), but I think we can all agree on one thing: Hannah is the worst. Like, I want to punch her in the face with her own face. I racked my brain to come up with the worst things ever in order to make it abundantly clear how much of the worst she is.

Here’s my completely true, utterly objective, and indisputable top-10 list of the worst things in the known universe:

1. Hannah
2. Radio ads that have police sirens in them
3. Coworkers who reheat fish in the office microwave
4. Speed bumps in parking garages
5. Skeeters
6. People who tweet in CAPSLOCK ALL THE TIME ALWAYS AND FOREVER
7. Brian Hoyer’s playoffs stats with the Houston Texans
8. Flying cockroaches
9. Swamp ass
10. 

Oh Bellamy. Wherefore Art Thou Bellamy?

Real talk. Bellamy’s character arc this season has been troublesome for many. Mo Ryan, TV critic for Variety, used the word “compressed” in relation to the pace of some of the plot development. And I agree.

Bellamy’s heel turn (in wrestling parlance, that means becoming a “bad” guy) came too quickly for us to fully synthesize it into his larger character story. He revealed the deep well of hurt that’s driving him in his confrontation with Clarke in “Hakeldama,” and that went a ways towards explaining his dark turn. But I’m ready for him to step back into the light, but every time Bellamy makes a decision that lands him squarely on Pike’s side, I’m like “this guy already!”

Really, Bellamy?

Bellamy started off the episode by shooting two Grounders in cold blood. He then was complicit in every move Pike made, including arresting Sinclair, having Bryan plant a bug on Miller, and Kane’s arrest. And every time, I shook my head and waited. The other shoe had to drop, right?

By the end of the episode, that watershed moment FINALLY came, but at the expense of Kane, who was sentenced to death. Yes, Pike really will turn on his own people and kill them if he has to in order to keep them in line and stay in power. How did Bellamy not see this coming? Worse yet, what did he expect would happen if he was able to follow through with turning Clarke in to Pike before Octavia saved the day? At the end of the day, traitors gonna trait, and haters gonna hate, and traitors gonna die in Pike’s hateraid regime.

So, in the end, we finally saw Bellamy break.

Yes, that’s a “what the fuck did I just do?” tear. A couple minutes later, when asked if Kane had any accomplices, Bellamy lies to save the lives of Harper and Miller, knowing full well (thanks to Bryan’s bug on Miller) that they were helping Kane.

So the face turn begins. In wrestling parlance, a face turn is when a heel finally does something to become the good guy. And the best face turns are the ones the crowd is practically begging for, because there are some heels that are so good at their jobs that people really want to cheer for them. When a face turn finally happens, the crowd explodes with excitement and electricity and deafening cheers. Want to see one in action?

For Bellamy, he may have finally made the right choice, but his road to redemption will be long and hard, because I think the fans are all over the place with his character right now. There was no big moment to stand up and cheer for, no fans absolutely losing their minds at this face turn. It was quiet and sad and long overdue. I didn’t cheer for him, I just felt relieved – he finally came to his senses. I think things will get worse for him before they get better, as we know a bloody confrontation between Bellamy and his sister Octavia is on the horizon. And I believe the catalyst for the Bellamy beat down is Lincoln’s death.

I feel like I spend a great deal of time heaping praise on the other actors, so let me heap some on Bob Morley. He’s turning in his best work this season. No question. He’s simply fantastic and deserves so much credit for a delivering a complicated, deep character to the screen. This cast is really stellar this season. I mean, we are drowning in riches when it comes to The 100.

The Delinquents Are Back In The Saddle! Yee Haw!

If you were jonesin’ for more of the original 100, you got a lot of mileage out of “Terms and Conditions.”

Harper
HARPER! Woooooooooooo! I was convinced she was on Pike’s side, given Monroe was, but thank goodness she’s with sexy beardy Kane. Harper got the episode’s best quote and I hope she plays a vital part in freeing Kane, Sinclair, and the Grounders.

Harper gettin’ after it!

Monty
Monty is trapped in a very difficult situation. He’s got such a good heart, but his mom has been filling his head with Pike’s bullshit, and Monty’s bought in…to a point. I feel for the kid. He just got his mom back and she’s not exactly the caring, nurturing person you’d expect her to be. She’s got as much bloodlust as Pike right now. But if you’re Monty, what do you do? Turn against family, especially someone you trust to have your best interests at heart? He’s also without his best friend Jasper, who is going through his own shit right now.

Stuck between a rock and a rotten person, Monty is. I have faith he’ll do the right thing, especially since he’s also following Bellamy’s lead. I don’t know which way Monty would have broke if he didn’t have Bellamy as a catalyst, but I’d like to think he’d break good.

Jasper
Jasper was the quiet MVP of this episode of The 100. He’s been a mess, yes, but not without reason. And he becomes Jaha and Raven’s target to help them recover the chip maker from Pike’s office so their City of Light recruitment tour can get back on track. But Jasper is smart, and he was there to witness Abby and Jaha’s conversation where Jaha couldn’t remember his dead son. Jasper suspects something is up. More on Jasper in Raven’s section of this review, but man, did we need some Jasper to wake Raven the fuck up. High five, man.

Miller
Oh Nate. That he and Bryan are not only on opposite sides of this conflict, but they’re both spying on and lying to each other breaks my heart. I’d like to think things will work themselves out, but…

I’m firmly on the “make Miller and Harper series regulars” train. I think they’re both underused characters / actors and would love to see more of the delinquents take more prominent positions in the narrative. There’s a rich history here to mine and a connection between them all that simply isn’t shared with the rest of Skaikru. That they are important figures in Kane’s plan – that he trusts these kids – is so great. I love Kane’s little flock of rebellious criminals. I love it so much, you guys. I want a spin-off, that’s how much I love it.

Raven Sees The City Of Light For What It Is: A Whole Heaping Load Of Bullshit

Yes, I yelled “fuck yeah!” when Raven came to the realization that A.L.I.E. v1.0 and the City of Light not only take away pain, but take away memories associated with pain, even if they’re good ones. I fist pumped. If I had a foam finger, it would be emblazoned with “RAVEN FUCKING RULES” on it. Basically Raven is the best and that scene was the best. THE BEST.

During their break-in into Pike’s office, Jasper keeps gently pushing Raven to talk about Finn. Has he sussed out that there’s something not quite above board about Jaha’s CoLaid? Jasper goes through a series of questions. Does she remember: the Grounders demanding Finn’s life? Clarke killing him? Finn giving her the necklace? Her first kiss?

Raven comes to a stark and heart-rending realization: she can’t remember anything about Finn. It’s a startling moment we kinda all felt was coming, and of course it was played wonderfully by Lindsey Morgan.

And that right there is the genesis of Raven likely being a key figure in taking down A.L.I.E. v1.0 and the City of Light. Man, I love the character work between Raven and Jasper in this episode. Jasper is kinda lost right now, but he’s still aware enough to pull Raven out of the unreality of the CoL. I imagine this is going to be a tough road for her to go down, because her physical pain was the reason for taking the CoL chip. If she rejects A.L.I.E. v1.0 – and we don’t know if that’s possible yet – she’s going right back to chronic pain land.

On his part, I think Jasper was trying to gauge just how much pain the City of Light would take away because I think he’s really considering taking the chip. But he doesn’t want to lose Maya in the process. Now he has confirmation that the CoL chip isn’t a magic bullet to happy land. Yes, it certainly takes away pain, but if there is any good attached to that pain, the good gets washed away as well.

And Now I Reswizzle My Read On A.L.I.E. And Get Weirdly Empathetic

So, in previous reviews I’ve said that A.L.I.E. v1.0 is up to no good. A.L.I.E. v1.0 revealed this episode that she’s not your standard AI gone bad. When Raven rejects her and doesn’t steal the chip maker, she’s actually…is bewildered a good term to use?

A.L.I.E.: “This has never happened to me before. When I communicate with someone, they listen to me, they agree with me. […] Free will and the need for consent are part of my core programming. I cannot override them.”

A.L.I.E. v1.0 truly doesn’t know what to do in the face of Raven’s refusal to do as she asks. She cannot force anyone to do anything. And the look on her face is, well, human. She mimics emotions very faintly and looks a bit flummoxed that she’s come up against something she hasn’t faced before: resistance. Playing A.L.I.E. v1.0 may not afford Erica Cerra the range of emotions she displayed with Becca, but I love her performance.

A.L.I.E. v1.0 is not playing into the “evil AI” trope. She’s trying to do what she thinks is good, but how much can A.L.I.E. really understand about “good” without that human connection that available to her version 2 incarnation? A.L.I.E. v1.0 displays absolutely no concern that Jaha can’t remember Wells or Raven can’t remember Finn. This is simply data that is inconsequential to her work. But the memories of the people we’ve loved and lost is some of the most vital “data” that exists for humans. But not for A.L.I.E. v1.0.

A.L.I.E. v1.0 seems to be acting on good intentions, but suffers from a massive hole in her data set. Her grasp on the human condition is woefully incomplete and she displayed an utter lack of a true understanding of the value of humanity by destroying the world to “make life better.” But if there’s one thing you can’t fault A.L.I.E. v1.0 for is she will fucking go big or go home.

Chris learned that the hard way.

I found myself empathizing with A.L.I.E. v1.0 in the weirdest way this episode. Seeing her reach an impasse with Raven and not knowing how to proceed was a fairly interesting development in the story. She went from scaring the shit out of me for her great potential to really screw things up (and that capability is still there, make no mistake) to me feeling for her because she couldn’t “connect” with Raven in the way she expected. I have a feeling she could destroy the world yet again and just say “this is good, right? I did good?” because she’s so limited in her ability to understand that what she’s doing ISN’T truly good.

We learned a little bit more about the City of Light this episode: adding more people increases A.L.I.E. v1.0’s computing power. Now she’s shifted her focus to finding A.L.I.E. v2.0, and incorrectly believes she’ll find it in what’s left of the wreckage of the Polaris. I assume she’s simply wanting to upgrade herself and probably believes that her 2.0 version will make her harder, better, faster, stronger. I believe she’s in for a very interesting discovery if she ever does find v2.0. I don’t think the two AIs will be compatible at all.

Terms And Conditions – It’s Not Just That Thing You Never Read But Agreed To Anyway When Installing iTunes

The Grounders have their terms and conditions to spare Arkadia, and that’s giving up Pike. Pike has his own terms and conditions for the Arkadians to stay safe: fall in line and don’t question his authority or decisions. And the Arkadians are largely falling in line, save for Kane and his merry band of misfits.

There’s this expression: the banality of evil. It basically means one doesn’t believe they’re doing evil, but simply engaging in behavior that’s been accepted or normalized by those around them. It stands in stark contrast to the concept of “radical evil,” when one has actively decided to do evil.

Can we lump everything Pike and his people are doing into the evil bucket? He’s doing what he believes is best for Skaikru, even though his actions have killed hundreds of innocent Grounders. But he’s killed and started a war without provocation based on fear and hate. He feels justified in what he’s doing, and what he’s doing is pretty awful. Unfortunately, there are plenty of Arkadians standing around and letting it all go down without raising an eyebrow or worse, actively participating in killing Grounders. Bellamy was the only one questioning Pike’s actions, and we all know he stood down on every one of those occasions until Kane’s death sentence.

How will we finally view Arkadia and Skaikru in general when all is said and done? We know there are different factions – those we are intimately familiar with – and everyone else. We get very little sense of the pulse of the general population, so we can only make the assumption that they’re going along with their elected officials. For now.

You and I move about the world agreeing to the terms and conditions of the society we live in. We pay our taxes, obey the laws, treat others with empathy and respect for the most part…we maintain civility by implicitly agreeing to the ground rules that envelope our lives. Much of our behavior is learned through observation or via the lessons our parents, mentors, and teachers impart on us.

But when things start breaking down and the measures in place to create a sense of safety and community start eroding, things can go south fast. Like, really fucking fast. The terms and conditions that keep people in check are thrown out the window and some of the worst human impulses can rush in and fill the void and create physical, moral, and emotional chaos.

Arkadia, because of Pike’s insane decisions that brought on the blockade, is in real danger of running out of food in 2 weeks. And when you start fucking around with the very basic, foundational components of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, you’re going to get desperate people doing desperate things.

I don’t foresee Skaikru being able to do anything to break the blockade to get to food and water in order to keep feeding themselves, and if they run out of rations, things will go tits-up in Arkadia. I think the people are already stretched thin emotionally and mentally, and all it’s going to take for anarchy and chaos to reign is a breakdown in their food supply.

There were plenty of people hanging around to witness the Grounders demanding they turn over Pike, so don’t put it past an angry mob to do that very thing if they’re pushed to their extremes. I really hope this happens. I want to see Arkadia break down and get crazy. I want consequences for the election and complicit/implicit support of Pike. This makes for fascinating stuff…Skaikru can’t get off the hook for their actions against the Grounders and I think they’ll be turning on each other before all is said and done. And if this does happen, things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get better for Skaikru.

Wild Ass Theory Alert And It’s Not Going To Make You Feel Good About Anything

So. Anyone else feel that from the jump Pike and Hannah’s story about Farm Station has felt a little off? It’s hinky, y’all. They are SO sketch. Like my spidey senses are tingling, and it’s just not the scotch. I felt it again when Hannah approached Monty and dropped more Pike koolaid on him.

Hannah: “Monty, being down here I’ve learned that if something helps you survive, it’s always the right thing. Pike taught me that. Taught all of us. It’s what kept us alive. You do what it takes.”

Now, this could be the writers showing us some more justification for Monty’s actions, but it just set off alarm bells in my head. This show makes you second guess a lot of the dialog because it can upend you at any moment and zig when you think it should zag.

This is a bit of a small, crazy theory on Reddit and I almost hate to dive into these waters because they’re taboo waters. And it’s not pleasant.

What exactly did Farm Station do to survive after they crash landed in Azgeda territory?

The superior Hannibal Lecter. Sorry Hopkins fans. But you know it’s true.

Yes, I’m going there. Did they have to resort to cannibalism to survive? We know that Arkadia landed in a pretty primo spot for hunting and foraging, along with being able to scavenge food and supplies from Mount Weather. But Farm Station landed in what I imagine was brutal terrain and weather, surrounded by aggressive Ice Nation warriors.

Is this the reason why no one breaks ranks from Pike, because of the dreadful shame of an unforgivable shared secret? Is this the reason why Hannah is so weirdly devoted to Pike?

Think about it. Doesn’t Hannah act like someone in a cult, who has convinced herself of something awful (all Grounders must die) in order to tamp down something even more unspeakably awful? Something is rotten in the state of Arkadia, and I’m not buying their story.

If y’all are pretty horrified by this theory, then I have one question for you:

I don’t want this to be true, but there’s just something so off about Farm Station. Like they’re all bound together by some horrible secret and falling in line with Pike regardless of their own consciences. Perhaps I’m being paranoid…this was certainly the episode to get the paranoia running through my veins, but I humbly put awful thought out there for you to ponder.

Interesting Stuff – More Info About The Clan Names

I can’t end this review on people eating people, so here’s some cool stuff:

From Reddit – David J. Peterson, creator of Trigedasleng, did an AMA over on the A Song of Fire and Ice (aka Game of Thrones) subreddit to discuss Dothraki, but The 100 fans had a question for him regarding the clan names, and he gave us an answer after checking with Jason Rothenberg if he could release the info:

Okay, I did get the go ahead from Jason. Here they are:

1. Trigedakru (also Trikru) – Woods Clan
2. Azgeda – Ice Nation
3. Floudonkru – Boat People
4. Sangedakru – Desert Clan
5. Podakru – Lake People
6. Delfikru – Delphi Clan
7. Trishana(kru) – Glowing Forest
8. Ingranrona(kru) – Plains Raiders
9. Ouskejon Kru (shortened from Ouska Ejon Kru) – Blue Cliff Clan
10. Louwoda Kliron (Kru) – Shallow Valley
11. Boudalan(kru) – Rock Line
12. Yujleda(kru) – Broadleaf

Couple notes on these.

• Trigedakru is the original term—the original clan. Trikru is a later term that is more inclusive. That’s why you hear both.
• Where you see kru or Kru in parentheses, its inclusion is optional.
• Ouskejon Kru is what people will say, but it comes from the literal translation (i.e. ouska “blue”, ejon “cliff”, andkru “clan”).
• The syllabification of Ingranronakru is IN-gran-ro-na-kru.
• You could probably say Azgedakru, it’s just not likely. Same with Trishanakru, Ingranronakru and Louwoda Kliron Kru. All four of those are designations you’re most likely to hear without kru.

Otherwise, that’s it! Kind of funny I shared this for the first time in /r/asoiaf rather than on Tumblr. lol Oh well. 🙂

You have to love the detail the folks behind the show put into the world building!

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Miscellany

• My ship, Slarke (soap + Clarke): STATUS UNKNOWN. No Clarke this episode. I admit to a little panic. After last week, I don’t know if washing her face is going to be a priority.
• Aaaaaand, looks like no one’s priority is washing their faces. Regardless, this is my new favorite improv comedy troupe (wanna bet that Murphy doesn’t adhere to the “yes, and…” improv rule?):
  
• Where Abby at this episode? WHERE ABBY AT?!
• Looks like we’re getting Kabby next episode. Oh my. Gimme gimme gimme.
• I love Sinclair! I love how the show uses these “minor” characters in really important and special moments. Remember Sinclair’s conversation with Raven in 3×03? It was fantastic and heart felt and painful. It’s nice to see these moments trusted to these wonderful ancillary characters. They’re not minor to me at all.
• Okay y’all, I need Clarke back in the game ASAP. #BringBackDarkClarke. We know shit’s going to go down in Polis next week – Ontari and Roan are back! – but Clarke is sorely needed back on Team Kane. She’s just gotta get past an army of Grounders that will kill her on sight. If Titus or Ontari don’t kill her first.
• Next episode is called “Stealing Fire.” Someone’s high-jacking the Commander’s “flame,” aka A.L.I.E. v2.0, and right now my money is split between Ontari and Clarke/Murphy. Any book makers in Vegas take The 100 plot point bets? I’d be broke.
• I put together a little Spotify playlist of music both from the show and inspired by it. If you’d like to take a peek, you can find it right here. I keep it updated with new songs featured on the show – this episode’s closing song was “Remains” by Algiers.
• If you are a fan of excellent, criminally under-watched TV, then you HAVE GOT to watch The Americans on FX. Season 4 premieres on March 16th. You can binge the first three seasons on Amazon Prime. Go go go!
• To anyone who read my last review as tone-deaf to the LGBT community, I say this: a great many of you gave some great, thoughtful, and insightful feedback. I will continue to listen, to endeavor to think deeper about these issues, and continue to support the community, even if I fall a bit short. I’m not always on the right side of things, but I intend no malice. Please keep banging on me with your thoughts. Hodnes drein hodnes daun. Love must have love. (I asked David J. Peterson for that translation so I’d get it right)
• Thanks for sticking around and reading this review folks. I’m doing this for the love of the game, I’m just here so I don’t get fined, I’m just trying to be the best teammate I can be, and I’m giving 110%.

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FINAL VERDICT!

“Thirteen”: 8.0 out of 10 shocklashes to Pike

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There are some The 100 bloggers you should absolutely be reading, and I offer them up for your enjoyment; I have no affiliation with any of them, save for being a fan:

• Jo Garfein – doing some great intellectual lifting when analyzing the show, and check out her The 100 podcast with AJ Mass, also found on Scifi Mafia at this link.
• Erin Brown – unfairly beautiful writing. Like seriously, stop being so good.
• Toni_watches – piss your goddamn pants funny photo recaps.

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If you’re a fan of the show, join us on Reddit for deep discussions, wacky shenanigans, Trigedasleng lessons, and our weekly Breadheda-watch. Bread drein, bread daun.

Breadheda is gone, folks. Why do I still include her at the end of my reviews? I think I may miss her dearly, even though I’m resentful for her abandoning The 100 fandom. I’m just holding onto a ghost at this point.