While we wait for an announcement of a premiere date and a season 5 trailer, I’ve been trying to do a little thinking about what season 5 has in store. To be honest, predicting season 5 is harder than previous seasons because we’ve gotten a soft reboot of the series, with a 6-year time jump. I mean, anything could happen in season 5 and not really having a good idea of where the show is headed is pretty dang exciting.

We have 1200 people trapped underground. Seven people trapped up in space. And Clarke with a child in tow on a scorched earth. Oh, and a prison ship that’s been lost in space returning to find a destroyed planet. No biggie. I’m sure everyone on that ship will be very friendly and willing to be besties with earth survivors and nothing untoward will happen.

So given a rather green field before us, how do we even begin to predict what could happen in season 5? Especially without a trailer to provide us with clues? Use the SWAG method: Sophisticated Wild Ass Guess.

I’ll talk in generalities about themes, threats, larger plot points before moving into more specific predictions. You know from my previous theories and predictions that I’m simply not good at this, so your mileage may vary. If you have thoughts, let’s hear ’em!

You’re In A Cult, Call Your Dad

Season 4 introduced us to the Bill Cadogan and the Second Dawn cult. But other than giving us a bunker and some cultish platitudes, we didn’t learn a ton about Cadogan or the Second Dawn. Which is okay because season 4 had plenty going on, but you’ve got this McGuffin out there now that I made some goofy predictions about, namely I thought Cadogan and other cult members might still be alive in the bunker due to the introduction of hypersleep. I want my McGuffin to un-McGuffin itself and drive the plot a bit.

Look, I’m not a fan of real cults. I find many things to emulate cult-like behavior and I believe group-think at many levels (politics, religion, race) to be dangerous. But I loves me some fictional wackos all mixed up in my favorite TV show.

So you’ve got 1200 or so people trapped in an underground bunker that was built by a cult leader as a means to survive the end of the world. If Cadogan is the narcissist that many cult leaders are, you can bet that bunker is stocked with Second Dawn propaganda all over the place. Plenty of Second Dawn reading material to keep the Kool Aid flowing into the soft brains of the true believers.

Hey, is there anyone down in that bunker who has displayed crazy behavior in the past and tilted at windmills more than once and just RIPE for indoctrination into magical thinking?

Oh hi Jaha.

Jaha is a man who’s always looking for a project. Something to latch ahold of and invisible computer ladies to blindly follow. If anyone is up for some cultification, it’s Jaha.

How that exactly plays out is beyond me, but damn if that motherfucker doesn’t try to become some humanity-saving wizened old Yoda character in that bunker, I’d be surprised. The thing to question is anyone still in the market to buy a bridge from this guy? At times he displays some really cunning leadership, other times he’s pushing kids off of boats to become Ol’ Nessy fish bait, so, six of one, half dozen of another, Bob’s your uncle, and other colloquial sayings I like to use incorrectly. What I’m saying is: trust Jaha at your own peril…he’s a shady bitch.

If narratives move forward and get purpose from conflict, I can’t help but think adding a little bit of cray to that bunker just adds to what I believe is going to be a powerkeg of darkness. Jaha is the character that conflicts me the most. I don’t trust his ass, but I also love his ass. He’s that person in your life you can’t help going back to, regardless of how often you get burned.

And if you’re looking for a crazy theory to go along with cult stuff, I wouldn’t quite yet scrap the idea of Cadogan being around somewhere in some form. I get attached to my theories and tend to cling to them like Rose to a wooden door. Yes, I understand the irony of me dismissing crazy cult thinking and my attachment to crazy theories.

I Hope They Got Some Febreze Handy When They Pry That Bunker Door Open

I can’t imagine living in a bunker for 6 or so years is all that fun or exciting or stimulating. Once you’ve memorized the names of all your 1200 other bunkermates, what exactly is there to do other than boring daily routine chores and activities?

I would be lying if I said I had a good feeling about life in that bunker and what’s transpired in 6 years. After seeing some behind the scenes photos of Octavia going HEAVY on the smoky eye and covered in blood and some of JRoth’s comments, I think Heart of Darkness will seem like a children’s book compared to bunker life.

Season 4 did a lot to move Octavia’s story forward in a very positive direction. I had remarked in my reviews that her story seemed to always run adjacent to the main narrative, but she never felt like a vital component. What I did like about her story is how she learned to become a badass on her own and grew up quite a bit despite some of her more temperamental actions (a Blake through and through, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing).

But now, she’s the leader of Wonkru, and I imagine 6 years underground has been a bit rough. Think about what being in close quarters is like with 1200 people. Now consider that they’ve come to the realization that they can’t dig themselves out. How long have they known this? Now consider what happens if the systems that sustain life (food, water, air) break and can’t sustain AS MUCH life as before. Would that make you a little panicky?

Fuck, my garbage disposal stopped working last week and I didn’t take it well.

I have a really really really really REALLY bad feeling about how life has progressed in that bunker that might have turned our little Skaikru/Grounder hybrid badass into a bit of a monster.

And you know what, I’m okay with one of our main characters becoming a Bad Person. What if they do turn Octavia to the Dark Side? There is no rule that everyone in our little Hundyverse has to stay likeable. Not everyone is nice or kind or non-murdery. Octavia was raised in secret under a floor for 16 years with little to no peer group socialization and that fucks people up. I would love to see an example play out on TV where nurture obviously created a monster (not named Ed Kemper).

I don’t think they’ll go completely darky dark dark with Octavia, although just the thought of bucking expectations excites me, but they will make her tangibly feel the ramifications of being a leader who has to make tough decisions. Octavia has often been at odds with Clarke over Clarke’s decisions and now O gets to walk in Clarke’s footsteps. And while Clarke has been responsible for the death of a thousand or so people, I get the feeling that Octavia will have literal blood on her hands because of decisions she has made, and that will be the juxtaposition that the show creates for the two women. Clarke tends to kill in large swathes, and Octavia will slowly mete out justice in the bunker and each instance will take a toll. Because I don’t think she’ll delegate. Her decision, her responsibility.

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?! I TURNED THAT SAYING ON ITS HEAD. There is no off position on the genius switch.

What I can’t wait to see is how everyone else evolves in that bunker and react to Octavia’s leadership style and decisions. If things start going downhill, when does Kane jump off the O train? Or Jaha? Can budding bestie Niylah talk Octavia off the edge? What of her best and closest mentor, Indra? What kind of delicious tension can the show build up between Octavia and Indra’s real daughter, Gaia?

Also, just a passing thought, but are we going to finally get some motherfucking cannibalism up in our motherfucking bunker? What started as a joke…you know, the whole wanting to see cannibalism thing because they’d never go there…is taking life. KANIBALKRU, RISE!

Insert happy cannibal noises gif here because I am nothing if not predictable.

I will never not love that gif.

Stay Sexy, Don’t Get Murdered

Recent casting news has revealed that Mike Dopud (pictured below) will play a “ruthless serial killer” named Vinson. He arrives with the other criminals on the Eligius prison ship.

Now, some of you may be like “aren’t serial killers played out?”

To which I would respond with a resounding “NO!”. I also have about 5 true crime podcasts on my phone that I listen to weekly and I think serial killers are never going to be out of fashion. Just when you think that we’ve run out of ways to tell those narratives, a show like Mindhunter comes along and we’re all in on trying to understand these monsters. Again.

What happens when you drop a guy who kills for no good reason in the midst of people who kill FOR good reason and also happen to feel pretty crappy about it? And my peeps, he’s not even the Big Bad this season.

What if…and come with me on this journey…he’s a helpful serial killer? I know, I’m wishing a little too much here, but GODDAMN if a smart and charismatic psychopath who forms a strange, fraught friendship with the protagonist isn’t my jam. OH HI ALICE MORGAN.

I know…wishful thinking. The 100 usually doesn’t try to get too precious with us, but who wouldn’t be cool with a very dangerous man helping out Clarke and Co. against another very dangerous man?

I have to call into question the wisdom of a penal system that would send a serial killer out to space as part of a mining expedition. Close quarters in an inescapable space ship?

Seems like a solid logistical decision there.

Besides Vinson, I’m excited to see who else spills out of that prison ship. What will their reaction to a post-apocalyptic earth be? Remember, these folks left before ALIE destroyed the world the first time and are probably expecting to come home to something a little less…fucked up. Also, what are the effects of extended hypersleep? Another gift from Becca (who really doesn’t have a fantastic batting average when it comes to shit that doesn’t destroy the earth).

I can’t wait to meet all these new people – they are, for all intents and purposes, the new Skaikru. The invaders. The colonizers. The entitled. We’re finally going to see the script flipped on Clarke, Octavia, Kane, Abby, and all the rest of the old school Skaikru and they will understand what it feels when interlopers come a’crashin’ down.

Consider that we’ve always been on the side of the protagonists, and that made us on the side of the colonizers the first time (Skaikru version 1). Now that Skaikru version 2 is coming down and they’re probably not so nice, we’ll be on the other side of that narrative. Look, colonization is an icky subject and hasn’t always been explored fully by this show. Because it’s icky, and our “good guys” were the colonizers the first time around. It will be interesting to see what sorts of retrospection we get for the Grounders as the story unfolds, both on the show itself and in our own critical examination as viewers.

Ground Control to Major Tom

I have a bit of an odd prediction for the the Interstellar Adventure Squad: not a whole hell of a lot happens. While I think the bunker is slowly going to turn into a bloody, paranoid powder keg of “oh my god we’re never getting out of here ever,” I think life up on the Go-Sci ring will be…pretty boring and routine and without life-threatening drama.

That is, until they Eligius ship hits earth.

I think Bellamy and crew will adjust to a bit of a hard scrabble life, and it won’t be glamorous, but I think the Go-Sci ring will sustain these seven. So what keeps them up in space? Why don’t they return to earth as planned after 5 years?

Well, the simple reason of “shit doesn’t work.” And it’s not like you got a ton of engineers and mechanical experts and unlimited resources. Pretty much five of the seven up in space are worthless around space ships that go vroom and get you back down to earth.

Maybe there’s a part missing or broken and when it’s apparent that they HAVE to get back to earth because Bellamy’s spider senses go off and he says “my sister my responsibility” for the eleventieth time and then Monty is all like “the flux capacitor is broken, there’s no way back,” and Raven at the very last moment before all hope is lost is like “I just had an idea, what if we duct tape a tampon to an air filter though? that might buy us just enough time to get back to earth!” and I’ll just roll off the couch and lay on the floor until morning because I will have lost the ability to even at that point.

I’m trying to say I have very little idea of what’s happening up in space or what keeps them up there save for the mundane. Imagine the juxtaposition of things going to absolute shit in the bunker versus the “boring” life in space. I think it would be an interesting way to explore isolated communities and how they react to the situation around them. I mean, if there’s some reason they can’t leave the Go-Sci ring, wouldn’t a sense of desperation or helplessness set in there as well? How does it affect a small group versus a large group? Does anyone start going stir crazy? Or do they understand that the seven of them absolutely depend on each other for survival?

Okay, so maybe life isn’t so much “boring” as slowly sliding by up on the Go-Sci ring as they exhaust their options.

What I do know is that a lot of people are downright THIRSTY for space sex. Between everyone in all sorts of ways. Just a lot of sexy times. All the sex. Do you get what I’m saying? Let me spell it out for you: space orgy.

Because honestly, what else is there to do up there besides drink recycled urine and eat space algae? And slip into quiet existential dread as you realize your small little community of seven will die out and there’s not enough genetic diversity to keep life on the Go-Sci ring realistically going forward in the future.

Jesus, I started this section out thinking that nothing important happens up in space and then just came away depressing myself while thinking about the meaningless of existence as we are all just little specks of space dust and come and go in a blink of an eye.

Excuse me while I slide off the couch and lay on the floor till morning while I can’t even anymore.

Clarke’s World Moves From the Macro to the Micro

We know from the season 4 finale that Clarke is not alone on the surface of the earth…she’s got a little Nightblood in tow with her. Now normally, when a child is introduced to a show, I slide off the couch and can’t even anymore.

Children. Ruin. Television.

This is a scientific fact, backed up by facts of a scientific nature. Exhibit A: Bobby Draper (of the Mad Men variety, not of The Expanse). They literally recast that mother fucker fifty billion times and NO ONE CARED. Exhibit B: Carl on The Walking Dead. You have to be pretty awful to be one of the worst characters on that show. Exhibit C: the Sand Snakes. While technically not young children, they ARE offspring and were once young and are unabashedly awful and ruin everything throughout time. UGH WITH THESE THREE.

There are, of course, a few exceptions where writers wrote good roles for kids, but those seem to be the great unicorn of television and movie kid roles. Mostly, writers seem utterly baffled by kids and write them like they’re barely human, attributing all the worst character traits to them, making them dumb and selfish and barely functional as invertebrates. Which, you know, fair. Some kids absolutely fit that description. But I don’t like watching adults that act like spoiled morons, so why do people think it’ll be welcome in a smaller package.

Kids can be smart, have agency, and express emotions.

They don’t have to be written like alien beings that we’ve never had contact with before. Or as a necessary accessory no greater in intelligence than a house plant.

I’m hoping that Madi is smart and resourceful and not annoying. That’s all I ask: don’t. be. annoying. I didn’t find Charlotte annoying for the most part. Just sad and scary and lost.

But I had a greater point to make regarding Madi. Since this is Clarke’s “mama bear” moment in the show, we’re bringing the stakes back down to a level that can humanize Clarke. If you track Clarke’s evolution over four seasons, she quickly moves from personal stakes like trying to save Jasper, Charlotte, and Finn, to much larger stakes – “my people.” She shifts from the micro to the macro in this show and stays there for the better part of 4 seasons. Her decisions are driven out of consideration for the hundred, then for Skaikru, then all humanity (twice).

It’s this macro-level decision-making and the lack of very personal stakes that has made Clarke seem a bit impersonal and cold in seasons 3 and 4. I’m not saying her decisions aren’t heart-rending or take their toll, because they do, but I think the time frame allotted to process those decisions and demonstrate their effect is pretty abbreviated in the way the show is paced, especially in seasons 3 and 4.

In season 2, I FELT Clarke’s pain, as each new decision meant making a sacrifice in order to save people. And sometimes that math didn’t exactly equal out. Kill three hundred to save the hundred. Sacrifice a village and your friends to save hundreds. Kill hundreds to save sixty or so. By the end of season 2, the personal toll was complete.

Your ass ever get dumped on a mountainside, your alliance betrayed and broken, your family and friends likely to die, AND it’s fucking raining while you’re wearing your best leather outfit?

Shit.

But as time wore on, Clarke’s decisions seemed a bit more impersonal. And people started taking her to task. Everyone was calling her out and she had more and more trouble explaining herself. Not because she was making bad decisions, per se, but because she was disconnected from them due to a deep well of pain and suffering she was constantly mired in. Not until she took the nightblood serum herself, echoing Dante’s “I bear it so they don’t have to” mantra, did she start making decisions that were closer to her personally again. And to think, it was Murphy, yelling at Clarke in a panic over what could happen to Emori, who helped push Clarke’s decision. Murphy. Our lovable little cockroach who we hated in season 1.

By season 4’s finale, Clarke had kinda come full circle. The Adventure Squad would risk its safety to rescue one of their own, Raven. Clarke sacrificed herself to get her friends up to space. This wasn’t a large, sweeping decision that affected hundreds of lives. This was her life for seven.

With Madi, we’re hopefully going to see a Clarke making decisions that humanize her a bit more. She’s got a kid to look after now, and she’ll be able to see the world through a different perspective – she’ll get a chance to see life from Abby’s point of view.

I think switching PoVs will be a theme that plays into this season a good deal. Octavia will see what Clarke had to deal with as a leader. Clarke will see what Abby had to deal with as a mother. Bellamy will be a more balanced leader, connecting the heart and the head, thinking a bit more like Clarke (and maybe Kane?). I believe Clarke will reconnect with her heart and inject her leadership and decisions with less analytical processing and more Blake-esque passion. Y’all…anyone else excited by this? Because I’m a weeeeeeeeeee bit excited by characters gaining new perspectives and understanding each other a bit better.

It’s interesting to think about how the passage of time really can help these characters marinate, not only in their own “juices” so to speak, but can reflect on the actions of their friends and family and really start to understand another character’s experiences as they start going through a lot of those same situations. This is a show that moves at a fairly fast pace and the span between seasons 1 and 4 isn’t all that much. This show packs more life, death, war, survival, betrayal, and sex into a week than most people I know.

Six years is going to give people a lot of time to reflect on the shit show that life on earth has been.

Who Are You After What You’ve Done to Survive?

One of the central questions the show has asked is: “what would you do to survive?” I think we’ve moved past that as a pin in the map from which all routes originate. I think the central query needs to shift to: “what have you become after what you’ve done?”

I’m not particularly interested in what people will do to survive anymore. I feel I already know the answer after the show has thrown the literal book at us. The answer to that starting question is: anything and everything. I think what’s interesting now is the aftermath…the person that exists after the killing, the wars, the genocides, the tortures, the crucifixions, the betrayals, the lists, the sacrifices, the loves lost, the desperation.

(please note: cannibalism is missing from the list of what they’ve done to survive. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’).

I’m a firm believer in you are what you do. Even if it’s just in part. For instance, if you kill someone out of self-defense, you are a person capable of killing. But that’s not the entirety of who you are, but it is an irrevocable part of your being. I don’t like when people do bad things and then say “oh, that’s not me.” No bitch, it IS you. At least a part of you. It just depends on how large a part…and how much you let that part of you navigate your way through the world.

Consider these quotes:

Bellamy: Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things.

…and…

Clarke: Finn, the things that we’ve done to survive… they don’t define us.
Finn: What if you’re wrong? What if this is who we are now?

I land somewhere in the middle between Clarke and Finn. While the things the characters have done don’t solely define them, their actions are part of the tapestry of each person. You can’t ignore the ugly and only accept the beautiful. Clarke is a mass murderer. So is Bellamy. And Finn.

The difference is the ability to reconcile all parts of oneself and to be able to live with the aftermath of your actions based on all the factors that went into your decisions and actions. Bellamy trying to separate who they are and who they need to be to survive is naive. And I think caused him a great deal of consternation until he was able to make a little peace with himself in season 4. Or at least that’s my read on his character’s development, which I thought was one of the strongest bits of season 4 (I LOVE season 4 Bellamy).

I want to see what these characters have become after 6+ years on earth and a whole lot of blood on their resumes. Are they still wrestling with their actions? Have they made any peace with themselves? What are they like after 6 years?

Specific Predictions

Okay, I got the generalities out of the way (with a couple specific predictions sprinkled in, like the tasty cashews in a nut mix), but what do I think is really going to happen? Again, this is all just a SWAG. And if you know anything about my predictions and theories, I’m ALWAYS WRONG.

Love is fleeting and everybody hurts:
Monty and Harper and Emori and Murphy break up. I’m sorry, but these relationships aren’t necessarily built to last, and that’s fine. I can’t wait for awkward dinners up on the Go-Sci ring over spiced urine rum and algae terrines.

We will see some “unconventional” relationships:
I think we’ll see some romantic pairings that we won’t expect. I think basically anything goes up in space, and that means maybe Raven and Murphy? Raven and Bellamy? Bellamy and Becho obviously is going to happen. Murphy and Echo would probably be destructive, in all the worst best ways. Echo and Raven would be hawt. In the bunker I think we’ll get Octavia and some rando, it would be nice to see Indra with someone FINALLY because she deserves some nookie, and maybe Jaha will get with someone. And I don’t doubt there will be some hotties on the Eligius ship that get with some of our characters because it’s probably been awhile for some of them who aren’t into boning serial killers. But I guarantee we’ll love some of the pairings and others will be awkward.

Madi will die:
Yup, I know predicting someone will die is like the easiest bet to make with this show, but Madi dying is a bit of a bold choice, don’t you think? Yes, the show has killed kids before, but not one we’ll get to know. Not one that is linked to the main character in a way that will make it devastating. Why am I predicting Madi? Well, because the show has done everything to Clarke and then some, so why not kill off her faux daughter? Also, this show has a way of bringing guest stars on and killing them off the same season and no, I’m not over Roan yet, why do you ask? Just prepare your seeing orbs for some mist. I think we’ll grow to really like Madi and then they’ll fuck us up emotionally. I mean, it’s not like we don’t already spend half of our viewing time curled up in the fetal position out of horror or sadness or both. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.

The reunions will undo us:
This isn’t a specific prediction about what happens in the show, but what will happen to us fans when people come back into contact with one another and realize that people are still alive. Or still alive but different. The fandom freaking out over people seeing each other again is like the easiest prediction to make. People are going to freak the fuck out and lose their damn minds.

Mama bear Clarke is going to be a force of nature:
We know Clarke can kick ass (errr…sometimes? I mean, she kinda got her ass handed to her in season 3 after handling herself well in the first two seasons, so I’m a bit confused as to her regression to bumbling fool), but being Madi’s guardian is going to really amp up her natural desire to protect her people. I think we’ll see a ferocity in Clarke we haven’t seen since season 2, and I for one welcome it.

The season 5 outfits are going to be sexy AF:
Did you see Clarke’s road warrior get-up at the end of the season 4 finale? Full Grounder gear, baby! I think Octavia is going to look tight as the new Heda. I’m hoping that once Bellamy and friends get back down to earth, they’ll adopt a Grounder look too. It’s time for old school Skaikru to become Grounders in full. And get Bellamy out of that damn guard jacket. Black leather will look good on Bellamy and Murphy, right? Visualize Monty in all leather. KANE. Oh my lort, hold my drink whilst I swoon. I love the costuming on this show and I can’t wait to see what new looks we get!

Eligius digs out the bunker, but won’t find what they’re really looking for:
So, the bunker is buried under rubble from the death wave’s destruction. Eligius is a mining ship. One plus one equals three, right? So obviously the Eliguis and its crew will dig the bunker out, but not because Clarke directs them to do so. No, I think Clarke and the mining crew will NOT be friends, but the mining crew does think they’ll find Second Dawn survivors (or rather, their children’s children) in the bunker. Yes, I’m still attached to my “the cult’s existence will have reverberations in season 5” theory, so I’m going to say that there are Second Dawn cultists on the mining ship and know that there should be TRUE BELIEVERS buried in the bunker. Except, surprise! It’s Octavia and Wonkru prancing out of the bunker.

Raven will be Bellamy’s…uh…Bellamy:
I think Bellamy will come to really depend Raven up in space, much like Clarke depended on Bellamy, and we’ll see that dynamic play out as Bellamy looks to Raven for help and advice. This might create some tension, but it’s been six years. Things change. Relationships develop. Conflict for the sake of conflict is usually a lazy bullshit way to add some tension into the narrative, but it would make sense for Clarke and Bellamy to have developed new dynamics with others and may take awhile to get back to a partnership that makes sense in this new normal. Imagine Bellamy looking to Raven for her thoughts first instead of Clarke. I think that will be a very interesting watch if it happens.

Jaha dies by Octavia’s hand:
If I’m going to go all-in on Octavia taking a really dark turn, it makes sense for her to kill someone that means something without it being a complete shock. After all, Jaha did float her mom and Octavia has had anger issues in the past. I don’t want to see Jaha leave our TVs, but since he’s no longer a season regular, the writing may be on the wall for our beloved part time cray ex-chancellor. Someone of note needs to die, right? That’s sort of this show’s go-to move. I don’t know how wedded I am to the Dark Octavia character turn, but man, if it DID happen, it could get really ugly and awesome and fracture the fandom, which just excites me to no end. I secretly wanted to be bold and predict that Octavia kills Indra, but that would really fuck shit up, and there’s no way I want to see Indra die. Ever.

Adulthood will be a nice look on our delinquents:
Now that the show is aging people up and the actors will be much closer to their real ages (despite Marie somehow NOT EVER AGING SHE’S A VAMPIRE I SWEAR), watching the delinquents as adults will be very nice. Especially the menfolk sporting facial hair. And now that the show is aging the characters out of the target demo’s age bracket, the show will finally have a mature and emotionally balanced audience. LOLZ RIGHT. But now Bob and Richard have facial hair and knowing my weakness for Beardy Sexy Kane (where my body pillow at?!) and Nyko (THANKS SHUMWAY), I’m all for aging everyone up. And I hope they’re cranky assholes who are pissed that a ship full of prisoners has landed on their home.

Octavia will assume the role of this season’s Lincoln with the Eligius crew:
I’m a wavering bitch and I’m going to hedge my bets. On one hand, I’m going to say they’ll turn Octavia heel. On the other hand, I’m going to say Octavia gets to further pay tribute to Lincoln by being the Grounder that extends her hand to someone on the Eligius ship. She will try to be the bridge between Wonkru and new Skaikru, bringing her experience with Lincoln full circle. And then she’ll have the sexy times with this new person, because it is the CW after all and they know peeps be thirsty for sexy times.

One wrestling .gif per article quota met! Sorry it had to be Roman Reigns. Beggars can’t be choosers. Believe dat.

Why Don’t We Have a Trailer Yet???!!!

If you’re on Twitter, and god bless your soul if you are, you know that all anyone can crow about is the lack of a trailer, despite getting teasers from Aaron Ginsberg and Jason Rothenberg (who is back from his twitter sabbatical finally). It would appear that the trailer for season 5 is probably done. And people are losing their minds because it’s not immediately in their eyeballs.

So what’s the hold up with the trailer?

Until the show has a premiere date, which appears to now be in late winter/early spring, it makes absolutely no sense to release a trailer. Imagine inviting people to a party but omitting the date and time. Doesn’t make sense, right? So it follows that it doesn’t make sense to release a trailer without a premiere date to stick on the end. It also doesn’t make sense to promote the show months and months before what might be a fairly late premiere date (March or April?).

So what’s the hold up with the premiere date?

I rightly don’t know. This is a strange one. But I can make a semi-educated guess that is probably wrong: one show lost its show runner and the back half of the season is up in the air, so its schedule is a bit wonky, creating wonkiness in CW’s entire schedule. If you know anything about what’s up with Supergirl, you know that it comes back in January for a couple episodes before Legends of Tomorrow overtakes it time slot, pushing Supergirl’s remaining episodes even further back. It’s a rather strange scheduling decision. It’s all a bit weird and I don’t think we’ve gotten premiere dates for any of the new or returning shows for mid-winter or beyond. So something is going on behind the scenes.

So what’s a fanbase to do about it?

Well, it’s a free internet…uh…was a free internet…and until further notice you’re allowed to do what you want, but I would say that there’s a fine line between an enthusiastic fanbase and an annoying one. Urging the CW to promote the show using hashtags and campaigns makes a lot of sense. Responding to each CW tweet about shows other than The 100 is a bit overkill, IMHO.

So you may ask, why doesn’t the network promote the show, seemingly, at all?

That’s a question I can’t rightly answer. I don’t get it. I’m a marketing professional. All I do is think of ways to promote my product and enable sales to talk about my product and create campaigns to raise awareness of my product and generate sales leads for my product, so I don’t grok how a company does not promote a product. There could be a case made that The 100 has grown its audience due to other forms of viewership in lieu of promotion, and they’re happy with its organic growth. Maybe the show isn’t going to improve its day-of ratings but can succeed in DVR and Netflix viewings by word of mouth. Because if truth be told, it was word of mouth that probably gets a lot of people into the show.

Have you ever said: “you just have to get to the forth episode, then you’ll be hooked.”? Because I’ve said this a lot. And people have started watching. I think they’re probably doing good Netflix numbers, and while the show was in season, they were doing good piracy numbers. Not that I’d know anything about that. I buy each new season as it releases on amazon, so I support the show with my hard-earned legitimate dollar. But I’m just saying, IF I knew what pirated shows are popular, The 100 would be up there. Not that I would know anything about that.

Look, there’s a whole cadre of reasons the premiere date and trailer are not released when we want or the promotion not up to our liking and since none of us are network employees, and we have no visibility into the decision-making process or the mitigating factors that affect those decisions. We have to be patient, I suppose. As much as patience sucks. And I would urge the fandom to not be annoying and incessantly whinge about it to the network, creators, and cast, but then I know better. And I’m tilting at windmills. I’m the Jaha of this narrative.

Parting Thoughts

• My ship, Slarke (soap + Clarke) is still CANON…but I think I might be keen on a new ship: Highlarke – Clarke and those red highlights. I hope these aren’t dropped in S5 because I like Wanredheda. DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THAR?!
• Becho is still endgame because it annoys you.
• Ugggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…this hiatus is forever.
• I want a season 6 so bad. Anybody with me?
• It’s nice to see Jason Rothenberg back on Twitter.
• Pssssssssssssst…lowkey the best show on the CW right now is Legends of Tomorrow.

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TWEET/RETWEET: If you enjoyed this review, could you do me a favor and share / retweet / like it on twitter? I hate to ask this because I hate asking anyone to do anything for me, but I’d really appreciate it. God, it’s not like I’m asking for a kidney (yet).

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE 100 MUSIC!: Hey people who like sounds entering your ear holes! I have a Spotify playlist, which is music from and inspired by The 100. You can find it right here and marvel at my musical tastes. I keep it up to date with anything featured on the show or in promos.

SHIT YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING READING WHEN NOT WATCHING THE 100: 

Here is where I usually pimp other TV shows you should be watching. Well, I recently got back into comic books, so I thought pimping comics once would be cool. We need more people reading comics and buying comics! Support your local comic shop (unless they treat women like aliens, then find yourself a good shop…all the stores in Houston seem to have women working in them or running them, which is kick ass).

• Crosswind: Written by Gail Simone (Wonder Woman, Birds of Prey, Batgirl, etc.), this story features a mob hit man and a suburban housewife. They switch bodies. Craziness ensues. Also has been picked up for a TV series. Gail is a fantastic follow on Twitter, where she trolls Olicity and gets into massive wars about the nature of Cyclops’s powers.
• Batgirl and the Birds of Prey: Written by the Benson sisters. You know, THOSE Benson sisters. Full disclosure: I haven’t read the series yet because I don’t own the whole series. I started buying the comic at issue 15 and can’t start in the middle of things (I’m weird like that), so I’m waiting for my eBay purchase of a whole run to arrive. But it has a lot of good buzz.
• Hulk/She-Hulk: Pick up Mariko Tamaki’s run on Hulk/She-Hulk, which deals with how Jennifer Walters deals with the aftermath of Bruce Banner’s death and her own trauma of almost dying. It’s interesting stuff and features some of my favorite recent comic cover art.
• Mister Miracle: Weird, cool, graphic. I’m not too familiar with Darkseid and the New Gods, but I didn’t need to be to enjoy this limited series. Not your parent’s comic book. DARKSEID IS.

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There are some The 100 reviewers/recaps/writers you should absolutely be reading, and I offer them up for your enjoyment; I have no affiliation with any of them, save for being a fan:

• Selina Wilken – a mix of passionate fandom and truly professional journalism.
• Erin Brown – unfairly beautiful writing. Like seriously, stop being so good.
• McKenzie Morrell – recapping her damn face off and great interviews with the cast!
• Toni_watches – piss your goddamn pants funny photo recaps.
• Jo Garfein – Hosts The Dropship podcast (defunct as of now) and has some great fandom charity auctions

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If you’re a fan of the show, join us on Reddit for deep discussions, wacky shenanigans, Trigedasleng lessons, and clan flair! It’s the least toxic place you can find right now for The 100 fandom. Mods got that shit on lockdown.

Disclosure: this is my own indie site. I’m not a professional reviewer, I don’t get paid for this. This is a labor of love/insanity.